Not much for religion...

[pyro225]

I'm not much for religion per se, but I sure could use a bit of divine encouragement and support.
Between struggling with depression, separation from my Son, possible permanent divorce from the Love of My Life, and teetering on the brink of financial ruin - I'm in quite a jam.
I've done some praying to what/whom-ever is listening and it seems to relieve some of the pain.
I bounce back and forth from seeing the light at the end of my current dark tunnel as being hope - or being a freight train.
I've read some of the threads here, and it's apparent there's a good deal of faith in and understanding of divine intervention amongst the V8Buick.com members.
I figured it wouldn't hurt to humble myself and ask for some additional prayers to help me persevere and make it through this difficult time in my life.
Thanks in advance.

:pray:

[70 gsconvt]

There's nothing wrong with humbling yourself before God. And that's why you have friends, to lean on during the tough times. I'll say a prayer for you.

[doc]

Doug, I have been in the shoes that you are in and it aint fun.... In fact what you have described was so similar , it was erie.....My first wife took off with a 52 year old lawyer, and I got run thru the wringer..... enough said about that. Now it may surprise you but God hates religion.... Christ went head to head with the religious leaders more than any one else when he was here.....
You are doing exactly the right thing to get your life straightened out again.... God is real and the spirit world is real, just as real as the natural world that we live in.... I would encourage you to read your bible along with the praying that you are doing.... go to the book of psalms, and see what David's life was like....You will relate to him... God created families and the devil is in the business of destroying them..... what has happened to you did not come from God ,, it came from the devil....
I told God that I picked out the first woman and I wanted him to pick out the next one..... He did and it has lasted 36 years now and has been wonderfull....
Find you a church where you can Feel the presence of God when you walk thru the door,,, [that warm, gentle, loving attraction, that comes from OUTSIDE of you, not inside of you.] and start going there on a regular basis. Let the people there minister to you.... You need that support right now.... When you start making moves toward God , he will start making moves toward you.... ck it out, dont take my word for it.... put God to the test... He loves responding to people....
Use your Buick to keep your mind straight during the tough times.... it keeps your mind off the troubles for a while..... It will take some time for you to get your feet on the ground again, but You will and life will return to normal again, You will laugh again.... You will relax again..... You will love again.....
Good blessings to you,,,, stay in touch....... Doc.:grin: :grin: :grin:

[staged73]

Excellent advice Doc. So true. I am praying for you too Doug. Ed

[Floydsbuick]

God created families and the devil is in the business of destroying them

Very true. I pray for strength for you. Don't forget to ask forgiveness in your prayers too. Alot of people forget that step (I still forget), and thats important.

[BUICKRAT]

Very true. I pray for strength for you. Don't forget to ask forgiveness in your prayers too. Alot of people forget that step (I still forget), and thats important.

:gp:


Admitting to God that we are sinners is the first step towards divine intervention. Thanking him for his great creation is the second. Pray daily...set a time aside every day to praise him and the answers to your troubles will be revealed. It probably wont be a blinding flash and poof, everything is good, it will happen slowly, one hurdle at a time. Also remember, the Lord helps those that help themselves. You must also show him that you are strong and willing to do what it takes to solve these troubles. We are also pulling for you!

[carmantx]

Praying for you Doug. Keep the spirit. Prayer is powerful.

[455regal]

I couldn't have said it better than "Doc" great advice!! Keep your chin up Doug! I'll be praying for ya! I've personally found that God sometimes allows us to "wallow" in our ( or someone else's) mess so we can only look up!

[pyro225]

Thanks for the prayers, guys. It was a bit easier to get out of bed this morning. Just acknowledging out loud I'm having a difficult time and asking for help made all the weight I'm carrying seem a little lighter. I really appreciate all the encouragement, too.
And BTW doc, I'm unfortunately "Buick-less" right now. But I've got a 66 Ford pickup that's keeping me occupied - thank God for that truck, even though it's falling apart!

[skylarkroost]

Sometimes it helps to look around you and try and find as many blessings that you have and thank God for those. I know sometimes it's hard when lots of stuff is piling up on you. Maybe your health or anything that is remotely going right. Focus on those and remember to thank Him for the comfort that they bring you. He is always there and His only request is that we love and communicate with Him asking for help thru the valleys we go through. Hang in there, every day will get a little bit better. Doc is a good friend of mine and the advice he gave you is very sound. Finding a place of worship that moves you during the service is the best criteria for a good church to go to regularly. My prayers are with you as well as the others here.

[bullisbm]

Hey Pyro,

I am kinda in the same boat right now.. just a bit away from a divorce after almost 20 years. Actually if it was not for the lack of money it would probably be done.

Daughter pretty much thinks everthing is my fault so we don't talk much.

So I know how your feeling. Where are you in Portland?

[adamst56]

The manifestation of almost every faith is the positive vibe (love) that we share with one another. The best place to find it is with true friends and truly good people. There are a bunch of good guys here that will be pulling for you.
I wish you all the best. Hit your departing spouse where it hurts the most, tell her you love her so much that you want her to be happy.

[pyro225]

Hey Pyro,

I am kinda in the same boat right now.. just a bit away from a divorce after almost 20 years. Actually if it was not for the lack of money it would probably be done.

Daughter pretty much thinks everthing is my fault so we don't talk much.

So I know how your feeling. Where are you in Portland?

Hi Bret. Sorry to hear you're going through a similar situation. That's gotta be tough with your daughter, too.
And I'm over the bridge by the airport.

[bullisbm]

Maybe we could have a drink sometime and complain about our lives.. lol

[chryco63]

Prayers for you, Doug. Keep searching higher... God's up there, and He'll make himself known to you if you keep searching. :TU: God bless.

[staged70]

Somewhat of a different take. I too believe in God. I also went thru the dark depression caused by divorce. Let me tell you if my first wife had not done what she did and broken up our home I would not be where I am today. You talk about finiancial ruin , I lived in a 66 Fairlane wagon that a friend loaned me the money to buy after a royal screwing by the ex and her new (friend). I took baths in a gas station sink. I had no job and no money. You know what after I got done feeling sorry for myself and feeling like my life was over I had some of the best times of my life. I met good people and ended up meeting an old girlfriend. She is now my wife of 28+ years and we have 2 beautiful grandsons. Take the time to grieve your relationship when you can spend time with your child and then take control of your life and make changes, become stronger because of thiws adversity. remember you have friends everywhere !

[pyro225]

Somewhat of a different take. I too believe in God. I also went thru the dark depression caused by divorce. Let me tell you if my first wife had not done what she did and broken up our home I would not be where I am today. You talk about finiancial ruin , I lived in a 66 Fairlane wagon that a friend loaned me the money to buy after a royal screwing by the ex and her new (friend). I took baths in a gas station sink. I had no job and no money. You know what after I got done feeling sorry for myself and feeling like my life was over I had some of the best times of my life. I met good people and ended up meeting an old girlfriend. She is now my wife of 28+ years and we have 2 beautiful grandsons. Take the time to grieve your relationship when you can spend time with your child and then take control of your life and make changes, become stronger because of thiws adversity. remember you have friends everywhere !

Thanks for sharing that John. It's been easy to lose sight of what's important and what is going RIGHT while everything is turned upside down. It helps to hear others who have made it through times like this and become stronger because of it. You've reminded me of the Nietzsche quote in my sig: Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich starker (What does not destroy me, makes me stronger). Thanks.

[6671]

Pyro, you didn't share many specifics and that is your perrogative but sometimes the particulars can help. I was an active alcoholic for the first marriage and that lasted about 7-8 years. After divorce I went to detox/rehab and had 3 wonderful years of a relationship leading to marriage and I hurt my back and got into pain pills and we divorced again. Yes, I remarried my wife and lost her twice and if there is one failure in my life it that marriage, both of them actually. I lost my son and I recently posted a thread asking for help through emails to my ex who can get emails to my son as I have no way to contact him. I am hoping if he sees that I am willing to go as far as asking strangers to show my love for him that maybe he will at least open communication between us, that would be a start.
Doc got it right on the head, God, through His Son, Jesus, never set up a religion. He did set up His church but that is different. The church spoken of here is the bride of christ and the body who does the work of Christ until His return and from the looks of the signs He gave it may not be far off.
Imagine our creator came in the form of sinful flesh and because of sin suffered and died so that the rightenous of the law would be fullfilled in those of us who do not any longer walk in the flesh but in the spirit!
You were told to tell your wife you love her. That is correct. You are to love her as you love the Lord, with all your heart, mind and soul. Tell her so. get on your knees and confess your faults to her and to God. If ylou arte heartful honest God Himself through the Spirit will take up up residence in you! That is a promise and God cannot sin and breaking a promise would eb that so you can count on what He says. If things do not turn out the way you would like the first time, DO NOT CHANGE! God works on His schedule and he has a palan for everyone who places their God given faith in Him, not even the faith is ours as we can do nothing without Him.
I lost everything twice as far as finances go and now I am no rich by a long shot according to this world but rich beyond most mens dreams.
Listen to Doc as he is truly a born again Christian. God has chosen him as I think He has chosen you to take the first step. I listed a few things back about the situation Mark, not me, is going thru. The ABC's of Salvation. Start there. PM Doc or me if you like but Doc has it straight.

[GSXMEN]

Doug - I sent you a PM.

[Buick]

Doug,

Along with a prayer for you, you might gain some comfort by a Bible passage that I often rely upon: Matthew 6:25-34 (also repeated in Luke 12:22-31).


25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Just think, if mere "strangers" here who are your brothers want to provide encouragement and support to you, what more might the "stranger" who is your Father above want for you? You are cared about by more than you may know, both here and above.

Take care,
Ramin

[doc]

Hey, Doug, a 66 ford truck aint bad.... I got an 85 ford p.u. that I tinker with. May be that you could build a buford like some here on the board have done. Just remember,pard that it aint over till the fat lady sings. God created life and meant for us to enjoy it.....this thing is bigger than both of us know....Like I said, test the Master, He said that if we would walk toward him, he would run toward us.....I am praying for you and dont you forget it.... he he

[pyro225]

I HATE being so public about all this but it's killing me.
It's now official - she's done, no matter what I do. That sucks because I'm NOT done and I can't stand the idea of being without her.
I'm not sure what's next. I have an apppointment with our counselor today at 3PM so hopefully I can find some relief there.
I can't say enough thanks to all who've responded to this thread - what's been said here really helps. All the support is appreciated.

[bullisbm]

Don't worry about being 'public' we all have problems sometimes and need people to talk to.

I am sorry to hear that it sounds like it is over. Hang in there!

[my79supreme]

Doug,

I am sorry to hear that things are done between the two of you. Please know that I have taken your name and situation before the Lord in prayer.

I have been a pastor now for 18 years and I have seen the Lord work in many ways. Whatever happens, do not give up or give in. I know that you are "not much for religion..." but if you seek Him, God will be found and He can and will guide you through your difficult and good times.

Praying for you,
Pastor Les Wallace
(new to V8 Buick)

[pyro225]

Thanks again to all who've helped and continue helping.
After some VERY dark days Tuesday and yesterday, I'm finally accepting the fact that it's time to move on.
Though it SEEMS as if I'm just buried in pain and adversity right now, after talking with some friends, my counselor, and hearing the strong support here I realize I'm a very "blessed" man.
My goal now is to stay connected, stay present, and begin working toward being on my own. Believe it or not, two of the most supportive and caring people in my life right now are my ex's parents. With 8 years of history they've decided no matter what I and my Son are part of their family.
I'm staying at there place for now until I can find my own place. Their support and encouragement, though somewhat awkward considering the situation, is really making a difference.
I'll return to my ex's house probably next week to pack all my stuff and temporarily store it in the garage until I have a place to go with it. That will likely be the last time I will be there.
Don't get me wrong - I'm still in a LOT of pain and beginning the grieving process. I've lost it more in the last few days than the whole combined last two years, but the "suffering" is beginning to alleviate. As I look and begin to move forward I know it will get easier.

I was given a book today that, though ridiculously SIMPLE, has really made a difference for me. I thought I'd share it here - maybe it will make a difference for someone else.
The book is called "212-The Extra Degree (How to Achieve Results Beyond you Wildest Expectations)" by S.L Parker. Here's the metaphor:
"At 211 degrees water is hot.
A 212 degrees, it boils.
And with boiling water, comes steam.
And with steam, you can power a train."
Basically, the difference between average results and exponentially GREATER results is a matter of a LITTLE extra effort - 1 degree!
"Small things make tremendous differences." Granted it sounds a bit "RAH RAH", but it's had an impact on me.
There you go - my little "extra" contribution for the day.
Again, thanks for all the support, encouragement, and prayer that has been given here - it too has REALLY made a difference.
:beer

[carl stevenson]

I just want to make sure that you understand there is a big difference between a self improvement book and surrendering your life to Christ. In the words of Elmer Fudd, "be careful, be very, very careful" (or something like that!)

Self improvement books focus on the power YOU have. The Bible focuses on the power God has, and if we ask Him he will provide more for us than any other book can. I hope that makes sense.

God is waiting for you, just as He did for me and just as He waits for everyone.

[doc]

Pard, God is very good at taking something that is very bad and turning it around to make it very good........ just make friends with him and see what he does..... dont rule anything out, because the Master thinks on a much higher plane than we do.....usually the answer comes from a direction that we have not even considered or thought of.......Lord , I pray your blessings and protection on this man and those close to him.....may he find peace beyond all understanding and healing for his wounded spirit.....

[pyro225]

I just want to make sure that you understand there is a big difference between a self improvement book and surrendering your life to Christ. In the words of Elmer Fudd, "be careful, be very, very careful" (or something like that!)

Self improvement books focus on the power YOU have. The Bible focuses on the power God has, and if we ask Him he will provide more for us than any other book can. I hope that makes sense.

God is waiting for you, just as He did for me and just as He waits for everyone.

Carl that has to be a first - referring to Christ and Elmer Fudd in the same paragraph! Point taken, well taken.
I'm of the belief that I have to find some of both - prayer and divine intervention, plus a dose of greater self awareness and conscious change in my behavior.
Thank you for your words.

And doc, thank you for the prayer. I may have to borrow that for some others I know in need.

[Woodie]

Doug, keep your head up. Ive been seperated/divorced for the last 2 years and it kills me. We split the kids 50/50 and i kept the Buick, I still cry about it, hell Im teary eyed right now thinking about it. I miss her so much, but I would not take her back (she had a boyfriend when I came back from Iraq), we were married for almost 10 years and I had no idea until I got home. Good friends and prayer definatly help and it does get easier, but takes time.

Michael

[kshrek]

Doug: I too have been through this ordeal: bad 10 year marriage that led to an unintended affair that ended badly as well (which was more painful than the divorce, but that's another story), 2 years of antidepressants and therapy (that didn't help very much),near bankruptcy and a major health scare to boot! It DOES get better, I just can't promise you when though; it takes as long as it takes and it is not an easy journey, as you are finding out.
I would advise the following ideas:

1: find something(s) to keep your mind occupied. Tinker with your 66, join a bowling league, whatever looks like it could be entertaining. Just don't sit on the couch in front of the TV saying "my life sucks"

2: A book that helped shed a LOT of light for me is "Your Best Life Now" by Joel Osteen. He writes about all of the issues that you are facing, even your reluctance to rely on God for help. Believe me, I felt a lot better after reading.
Parts of it are a little too "don't worry, be happy" but a very uplifting piece of work overall.

3: You have many supporters and friends here..don't be afraid to use them! Anyone of us is a mere PM or email away, and I'm sure all are willing to help, even if it's only by listening.

The only other thing I can say, and this too is based on my own experience: even the most vile sinner among us is worthy of God's mercy and favor. All you have to do ask Him.

Best wishes for your journey.

[pyro225]

Thanks for the comments michael and kshrek - every little bit helps.
I went back to work Tuesday and things are beginning to turn around (externally AND internally).
I do some "chatting" with God every morning, a bit of thanking and a bit of asking. I'm beginning to get the hang of listening, too.
Compared to a week or two ago, today my life is MUCH calmer, more centered, and heading in the right direction.
I can't say enough "Thank You's" for all the support, encouragement, and direction I've been given here.

[BUICKRAT]

I just want to make sure that you understand there is a big difference between a self improvement book and surrendering your life to Christ. In the words of Elmer Fudd, "be careful, be very, very careful" (or something like that!)

Self improvement books focus on the power YOU have. The Bible focuses on the power God has, and if we ask Him he will provide more for us than any other book can. I hope that makes sense.

God is waiting for you, just as He did for me and just as He waits for everyone.

That book is part of Gods answer to Dougs prayers. He works in subtle ways. He is helping Doug help because Doug WANTS to help himself. Gods power is OUR power if we truly believe and communicate with him. He will open our eyes to his creation, so we will see the beauty of it.

As I said before, the Lord helps those that help themselves, and it sound to me like the Lord has opened your eyes to what you have to be thankful for.

Don't give up! Another great book is the Holy Bible. The book of psalms has some very uplifting material.

Best of luck(although you won't need it with Gods help):TU:

[doc]

I am glad to see that your life is getting better.....keep on doing what you are doing.....God is real and He really cares about us.....

[BTail]

Keep swinging. Sometimes I think God puts people through a little bit of hell so that they can help others through bad situations once they are through their own. Just look at all these folks offering support based on their own similar experiences. You'll be there soon, too, able to lend a helping hand to somebody else who is at their wits end. I've been blessed with a pretty good life thus far, but my wife has been through some crap in the past and I believe God uses her to help others through similar situations. It's not easy for her to have to relive that stuff in helping others, but she does it, and I always feel like God has a special role for her in life. Maybe that's what he is thinking for you, too.

I said a prayer for you.

God Speed,

Nick

p.s. at least you can find lots of replacement parts for the 66 pu, I imagine.

[kshrek]

So how have you been doing Doug??