Looking for someone well versed in the bible

[1967 Big Buick]

Is there any specific verse in the bible on how one is suppose to treat there spouse? I only ask because a friend of mine loves his wife to death and would walk to the moon and back for her, but she keeps accusing him of cheating. And since his wife is well versed in the bible I was wondering is there a certain verse, he should be getting her to read and then reread and then reread again.

I've talked to her as well, and she tells me he has got me dupped which is funny because the man doesn't have any extra time in the day to even think about an type of affair other than work. She has him so well trained that when there in public, he never lifts his head up. His wife thinks he's after every woman. Just whacked in my book.


And guy's,......... this guy's wife is incredibly beautiful in every aspect of the word. Just to dam insecure. But believes in the bible and nothing else.

So any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated.

[RACEBUICKS]

This maybe should be moved to the Help from Above area But here is what you seek.
Ephesians 5

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.



EDIT: Another thing I was just thinking, it seems she has something she cant get past in their life together. She needs to clear the air on what it is with her husband. Maybe he gave her a reason to suspect and all that needs to be brought out on the table to talk over. If you are playing a mediator between them I dont envy your task. They have an issue that needs to be settled.

[ohioscott]

professional counseling followed by professional wrestling

[Da Torquester.]

Is there any specific verse in the bible on how one is suppose to treat there spouse? I only ask because a friend of mine loves his wife to death and would walk to the moon and back for her, but she keeps accusing him of cheating. And since his wife is well versed in the bible I was wondering is there a certain verse, he should be getting her to read and then reread and then reread again.

I've talked to her as well, and she tells me he has got me dupped which is funny because the man doesn't have any extra time in the day to even think about an type of affair other than work. She has him so well trained that when there in public, he never lifts his head up. His wife thinks he's after every woman. Just whacked in my book.


And guy's,......... this guy's wife is incredibly beautiful in every aspect of the word. Just to dam insecure. But believes in the bible and nothing else.

So any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated.


Not trying to make up anything here but, sometimes the one making the accusation is the guilty party. Seen it many times. My exwife for one accused me of this, than I find out years later after I divorced her, she was messing around. By the time I found out, she had gotten fat so I didn't really care and there were no kids between us. John B. :laugh:

[GKMoz]

Ephesians 5: 22-23 would be the one !

[doc]

Yep, Both of those and look in Proverbs chapter 31..... husbands and wives do not need to be adversaries..... my wife is my absolute very best friend....
down thru the years I have seen so many couples that were married but were not friends.... It seems that men have forgotten how to be gentlemen and women have forgotten how to be ladies.... and neither respects the other any more..... really sad......:Do No: :Do No:

[joy51872]

Not trying to make up anything here but, sometimes the one making the accusation is the guilty party. Seen it many times. :laugh:

100% agree with this statement. Unless she has proof and/or valid reasons for accusing him, either her self esteem is incredibly low or she's the one who has/is/or considering 'stepping out' of the marriage. Regardless of the reasons behind her actions, it's a miserable way to live life. Hopefully they either fix it or move on, life is way too short. Any guy who treats his lady like a princess deserves to have a princess who appreciates all he does.

'Treat others how you want to be treated', perhaps he should turn the table & see how she enjoys being unjustly accused?? I'm not a malicious person and believe this should be considered as a last resort, maybe doing so will open her eyes.......

[BTail]

Somewhere (Proverbs?) the Bible talks about how a woman is to respect her husband, and about how a husband is supposed to love his wife. It doesn't say that a woman can't love her husband, or that a husband can't respect his wife, but it clearly states what each are to do. I think both sides struggle with getting this right in most cases. I find it much easier to show my wife respect than love, even though I love her dearly. We're just not typically wired that way. It's definitely a two way street though. Sounds like this lady isn't living up to the "respect your husband" bit. It stinks to see a broken man beat down by a unrespecting wife. Of course, it also stinks to see a broken woman not being loved by the one that is supposed to love her.

I'll be praying for your buddy.

Nick

[bob k. mando]

either her self esteem is incredibly low or she's the one who has/is/or considering 'stepping out' of the marriage.

OR it's a control mechanism and she's just using it for general emotional terrorism to make him keep his head down.

you tell us he's pretty whipped, i would say that he is actually the problem. she gets away with it because he allows her to treat him that way.

[raresun]

even though the Bible doesn't say "wives love your husband" , it does teach we should all love our neighbors ...and love our enemies....so surely us husbands fall in there somewhere :laugh:
Check out Colossians chapter 3.

[1967 Big Buick]

i would say that he is actually the problem. she gets away with it because he allows her to treat him that way.

I told him that already, and he agreed. I'm telling you guy's this guy is descent and honorable, willing to go the end of the earth for his woman and his kids, but he does not deserve to live like this.

Get this and this is with my hand to god here:

He told me she will come home from the store and tell him that if he would have went to the store with her he would have checked out this woman. Now that is truly whacked in my opinion. he's not even there and still gets craps when she gets home.

He also told me that when they are out on a drive and they come to a T in the road, god forebid if there's a woman waiting at the crosswalk or turning onto the road he is on. Because she accuses him of check them out when he looks left then right before pulling out.

He is one of my best friends and I really want to help him. He has even tried to get them to go to therapy but she tells him she doesn't want the therapist labeling him. Yeah get that "labeling him". I told him to tell her he doesn't mind getting labeled if it will help them out. She still told him no.

Pray for this man people pray for him.

[1967 Big Buick]

Lots of good info here, as I have been reading and thinking something just hit me. She doesn't respect him because of something that happened in her past that has nothing to do with him. Possibly something her father did. I need to find out more, because I want them to be happy. I will be seeing her this weekend and I will update you then.

Thanks Guy's

[faster]

Not to use specific verses but the Bible in both the Old Testament and the New talk of a husband loving his wife as he loves himself because they need to feel loved from their husband. Women are turned on, feel love and comprehend emotions different than men do. A man who makes his wife feel loved absolutely and unconditionally will have a great wife.

Those same Scriptures talk of a woman respecting her husband because men don't need the emotional high but they do need to feel their wives/girlfriends are proud of their men. A women who makes her husband feel proud of himself and to be married to her will have a great husband. He will know he is loved by her showing him that. He doesn't need to hear the sweet wisperings that she does.

Men and women are different physically, psychologically and emotionally. Trying to make them the same has ruined the relationship.

Mikey

[monkeyy337]

Not trying to make up anything here but, sometimes the one making the accusation is the guilty party. Seen it many times. My exwife for one accused me of this, than I find out years later after I divorced her, she was messing around. By the time I found out, she had gotten fat so I didn't really care and there were no kids between us. John B. :laugh:I was thinking the same thing but you said it first.

[Mr Big]

Some good Biblical wisdom in those verses…things THEY should be in prayer about.

But things won’t get any better until she acknowledges her contribution to the problem.
They/She will probably need professional help.

A marriage without trust is doomed!!

[Dale]

Not trying to make up anything here but, sometimes the one making the accusation is the guilty party. Seen it many times. My exwife for one accused me of this, than I find out years later after I divorced her, she was messing around. By the time I found out, she had gotten fat so I didn't really care and there were no kids between us. John B. :laugh:

That's pretty much how it went down with my 1st wife.
My practice marriage I call it now.
Constantly accusing me of having affairs.

I finally told her that perhaps I should go out and have an affair so her accusations would at least have a grain of truth to them.
I never did, I do have to live with myself after all.

I am blessed to have my current wife Lynn.
Mutual respect and trust between both of us!

:TU:

[docgsx]

Not trying to make up anything here but, sometimes the one making the accusation is the guilty party. Seen it many times. My exwife for one accused me of this, than I find out years later after I divorced her, she was messing around. By the time I found out, she had gotten fat so I didn't really care and there were no kids between us. John B. :laugh:


Poetic Justice :beers2:

[bob k. mando]

I told him that already, and he agreed. I'm telling you guy's this guy is descent and honorable, willing to go the end of the earth for his woman and his kids, but he does not deserve to live like this.

well then, there is no point in asking the wife to read bible verses. if the issue is the husband, then the husband needs to get his act together before/as he starts trying to work on the wife's behavior. and he can't expect the wife to be willing to go along; she's been getting what she wants for years this way. it's useful to think of her as spoiled child because that's what she's doing, throwing temper tantrums to get her way.

case in point: the counseling is not the wife's decision. biblically, it's the husband's decision to make. and usually, given the male temperment, it's the man who is dragging his feet about getting counseling. if the woman is fighting counseling, there's a major problem. she may prefer a divorce over a healthy relationship at this point and there's nothing he can do if that's the direction she decides to go.

the only thing i would suggest about marriage counseling is to avoid standard psychiatry based counselers. anything based on Freud is f'd up, and most of psychiatry is over run with uber-feminists anyways.




talk of a husband loving his wife as he loves himself

"as his own body" actually. you are to love your neighbor "as yourself". the injunction from the husband to the wife is more emphatic than the general commandment for a reason.




She doesn't respect him because of something that happened in her past that has nothing to do with him.

probably true.

this does nothing to change the fact that if the behaviors were reversed between the two of them ( that he was constantly accusing her ) that this would be seen for what it is, an extremely abusive relationship.




I need to find out more, because I want them to be happy. I will be seeing her this weekend and I will update you then.

while i applaud your attempts to help, you can't wrap yourself up in this too much. they make their own decisions and you can't *make* either of them change.

[1967 Big Buick]

[I]they make their own decisions and you can't *make* either of them change.

I do agree with you, but when I am around each of them individually, they bring it up, so I know they are reaching out. I'm not going to lose sleep over this,.... but dam it would be nice to see it resolved.