I hate to tell you this, John, but since Joe's "rotator cuff" surgery thread has kind of gone to the trenches, I'm kinda glad the penguins are back. I need something to laugh at hysterically during breaks at work
Ha... I was just wondering the other day when we were going to get a Penguin winter visit update... don't leave us hangin', and don't omit any details.. And what is it about retired folks... Beth is retired, and this is a woman who used to work full time and get everything at home done too... you know, it's not like I am allowed to touch the washing machine... and put dirty dishes in the dishwasher.. what, are you crazy, she washes them first.... I made the mistake one time of asking why she does this.. the reply made my head hurt ("I don't want to get my nice new dishwasher dirty")... she is a woman that at one time had a full time job, 2 small kids, and was going to school.... crazy busy.. Now, I ask her to go to the grocery store for us, and I get "let me look at my calendar and see when I can fit that in..." as she is sitting in her jammys in front of the TV at 10am.... Apparently retirement affects ones ability to multi-task, and we only do one thing a day... at least that is what I have observed. Commence with the penguin updates! JW
Dang Lucas and Jim, My misery makes the world laugh. That's terrible! At least this year I have a left arm, I can drive my truck away from the house, and I can work on stuff which mostly keeps them out of my hair. I will keep you posted on my misery and how my mother-in-law is driving me up the wall. I'm sure the fireworks will go off in about two hours. My wife is throwing her a surprise 80th birthday Sunday. I'm sure she'll make a mess somewhere .
When they are relegated to camping out front, you will have a new neighborhood watch. You'll hear about everything and everyone doing anything.
They showed up later than I expected Wednesday. Luckily my youngest was already here to offer me support. They got out of the car. I gave my father in law a hug. I like him. Then we're just talking. The female bird said, Don't I get a hug. Dam, I guess it looked obvious. I gave her a hug. YUCK! They brought their luggage in. I went in shortly after them. My house smells different. It happened as soon as they brought their luggage in. I don't know how to describe it. Not body odor. Just old smelling, like them. Luckily for me my son's, grand children, and wife showed up. I stayed outside and drank beer. Day 1... They sleep in later now. Thank you Dear Lord!!! Just a few minutes alone in the morning! The female woke up first. Bummer! I had already transferred my potent coffee to my own pitcher. She drinks fresh hot, brown water every day. As I went through the house for my 2nd cup of microwaved coffee she was stirring. I made the mistake of saying good morning. Her, what? Me, good morning. Her, what? I just kept walking. I got my coffee and went straight to the back porch and prayed I won't be found for a little bit. As the day progressed they made it to my sanctuary. The car parts didn't deter them. The female asked questions all day long! What's this? What's that? The male followed me around like he was glued to me. The big garage door is closed cause it's windy as can be. So I go in the side door. He stands at the door entrance and looks to see what I'm doing. I got a wrench and came walking toward the door fast. He doesn't move. We're literally standing face to face. If it was a hot chick I'd a kissed her! It wasn't. I said, excuse me. He slowly moved out of the way. Geese! I didn't get a lot accomplished yesterday. We're all going out to dinner for my wife's birthday. I do mean EVERYONE! Like 16 or 17 people. That includes the female birds sister and husband. I dislike, that's a very kind word, the female bird's sister! Long story in itself. (I'm leaving out a bunch!) Luckily for me all the cool people were at 1 big table and the birds are with the sister and husband. Dinner was over and we all came home for ice cream cake. Oh yeah baby! Well we all didn't come back to the house. The female bird's sister and husband didn't. The sister won't come to my house because I have a big AMERICAN flag flying on the flagpole and a TRUMP flag flying underneath it along with several TRUMP signs around the house. It's my yard! Day 2... I woke up kinda late. 7:45. I get up, take a pee, go outside and get my coffee cup. Yes, the same one every day. It's also my water cooler cup. I was outside sorting through my mess before they ever got up. I like the birds getting older. After awhile I had to go in to poop. She talked to me from her recliner perch as I walked all the way to the bathroom. She was still talking when I closed the door, seriously. It was very windy again today, and no sunshine. So she stayed in most of the day. Yay!!! The male came out infrequently. Not bad. I even invited him on a trip to the Chinese junk store, Harbor Freight. After that my oldest came over and we went to Jack's garage to drink beer. Tomorrow my wife is off so they'll leave me alone. I used to not like weekends cause my wife was home. Now she's saving me from anxiety attacks. Life is good!!!!!
When visiting John's aviary be careful about talking about penguins. I don't think they know they are referred to as penguins, nor does the penguins offspring know that. Gotta protect our man.
Day 4... when I was a teacher we were always told to start a parent conference on a positive note. So I'll try. They get up later!!! This is 3 days in a row. I sooo enjoy a silent, empty house in the morning. They used to get up at 6:30. Maybe that's because I worked and they wanted to be in my way in the kitchen as I was trying to pack my lunch. So on a positive note them getting up later makes me happy! I went in for my 2nd cup of coffee. Their mess had already begun. Dick's cereal bowl was I n the sink with his spoon. The dishwasher is right next to the sink! His empty cereal box is still sitting on the counter. He knows where the recycle bin is. I think he finished off the cupcakes too. The empty container is also on the sink along with crumbs. Dang, and yesterday I said I liked Dick. Whoa!!! That came out wrong! The bagel eating bird has now chosen the couch to sit on as she pecks at her bagel holding a napkin under it. She probably realized the recliner was to easy to tip over and shake the crumbs out when they leave. I'm cleaning up my mess on the porch cause of the surprise birthday party tomorrow. More mess!!! Dick comes walking out of the house munching on a piece of toast with jelly on it. Don't worry. He was holding a napkin. Lights..... Do you all remember getting yelled at for leaving the lights on? I do. When I walked through the house his bedroom light was on, the bathroom light was on, her bedroom light was on, and the kitchen light was on. AOC would be extremely upset with the carbon footprint I'm putting down! Check it out.... 3 minutes after 12. Time for a beer!!!!
Hahaha...John, I promise I don't enjoy the fact that you're miserable with the penguins around....but I sure do enjoy your telling about them very much!
Steve's question answered first... Will you have the pleasure of meeting the penguins? Hopefully not! They had already intended to meet up with the rest of the flock over on the west coast of Florida. The female told me they would try to leave early so "they're out of my hair for the get together." If that's the case I'm going to have a get together every day! Today... The good, the bad, and the ugly. First the good. My sons and I built the kids a tree fort. When you see the pictures you'll probably laugh at our lack of "construction" ability. Instead of a tree fort, it's more like a club house with a tree next to it. Over the next few days the fort got a few additions. That means I found stuff in neighborhood trash piles. They got a dining room table, a chair, a fish bowl, and a small basket. My grand daughter hung the basket off of the roof and told her brother, "This will be our mailbox." Believe me, these kids have imagination! So the next time I went to Dollar General I bought a greeting card for my grand daughter and grandson. Thursday they were playing on / in the tree fort. I waited patiently for them to find their mail in the mailbox. They climbed on the tree fort, slid down the slide, climbed the tree, and finally they got real close to the mailbox. They were checking out the fish bowl. I had told them I would get them a pet goldfish. I forgot. I can hear Holley, yes... spelled like a carburetor, tell her brother, "Papa didn't get us a goldfish yet." While she's sticking her hand in the fish bowl water her brother sees the mail. He shouts out, "Holley! We have mail!!!" It was so cute! She took the mail out of the mailbox. She gave her brother his card and she opened her card and read it. That made my day!!! I think they were very happy too! Sorry the writing is off kilter. I don't know how to fix it.
HIghlight the first part of the sentence. cut and paste or move the cursor to the top of the page before the pictures hit enter a few times to drop the pictures down, drag the cursor back up to the top corner then start your text.
12:03 PM--- The "NEW" time for "Cold Beer o'Clock" Of course, unlike a stopped analog clock (which is right twice a day); ANY time is Cold Beer o'Clock... At least here... {BURP/BELCH/ F@rt}
I've got bad news guys. The penguins have been behaving themselves, kinda. Last Sunday my wife threw her mom a surprise 80th birthday. Believe me, I was thrilled. (Sarcasm) I unfortunately had to clean up all the scattered Buick parts I had all over the porch and spilling out into the picnic area. I was mad!!! A lot of it I had to just throw back into the big plastic tubs without organizing it. I beeched and moaned for 2 hours during the cleanup and skipped dinner with them all. Beer tasted much better. Sunday, after the party the female said, "Now I know why you grudgingly had to cleanup your mess. I thank you." I told her ALL the mess and more would be back Monday morning. She frowned. I figured while she was thanking me I should tell her she asks me to many questions and she keeps me from getting my stuff organized. She said she would stop asking so many questions. She may have stopped asking me questions, but she certainly didn't stop talking to me. Dang! I can walk past her in the morning to get a cup of coffee and she's talking to me until I walk back outside! Actually I can still hear her talking even after I walk out and close the door!!! She has got to have the longest pull string coming out of her back!!! I think she just likes to hear her own voice!!! The other day they were going to visit her sister. YES!!! A day to myself! Nooooooo, they were back home after a couple of hours. She couldn't take her sister's beeching and moaning. Bummer! It's been hot down here. The lower 80's. I have the A/C on in the house. She complains that it's cold in the house. The A/C is set at 77 degrees! That is not cold! Once I came home and she had the A/C off. What!!! I told her to leave the A/C alone. I'm not living in a nursing home! On the good side. The female actually made dinner one night and then both of them cleaned up all the dishes and pans. I was shocked. She doesn't do a very good job wiping off the kitchen counters though. There are still crumbs on it. When I finish vacuuming my car today I'm going to leave the vacuum in the living room. Maybe she'll get the hint. I doubt it. That's it from the "roost."
Today's update is brought to you by Budweiser, the king of beer! The good news, as I last reported when I finished vacuuming my car I left the vacuum in the house on the living room floor. You're never gonna believe this. Right after I did that my wife had my son drag the Christmas tree out of the house. Pine needles everywhere! Then my wife left with her girlfriend. I don't know who vacuumed the house but somebody did. That was the good. The bad news... The throw rugs did not get shaken, especially the kitchen rug. It still has bagel crumbs all over it. And the freshly vacuumed floor has crumbs going all the way to the recliner. Today my wife went shopping for a new sofa and love seat. I guess that's good news. The bad news... She could have waited till her mom left to go back home. Now we'll have bagel crumbs in the new furniture. I guess my life is like anti freeze. A 50 50 mixture.
