Holiday Poetry

Discussion in 'Buick "Widows" support group' started by Skwee-G, Dec 15, 2002.

  1. Skwee-G

    Skwee-G Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

    T'was the night before Christmas and all round my hips
    Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
    Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
    In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

    While Ma in her girdle and I in chinstraps
    Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
    When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
    I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

    Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
    Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
    The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
    Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

    When what to my wondering eyes should appear:
    A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
    That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
    I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

    The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer
    I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
    On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
    A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

    From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
    Now dash away pounds now dash away all.
    Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
    My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

    My droll little mouth and my round little belly
    They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
    I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
    Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

    And laying a finger beside my heartburn
    I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
    I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
    If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.

    And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
    In the morning I'll starve... 'til I take that first bite!
  2. 70 Skylark Conv

    70 Skylark Conv Well-Known Member

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  3. GS Shari

    GS Shari Guest

    I second Dee's comment -

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

  4. Skwee-G

    Skwee-G Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

    Oooh, an oldie!

    I would like to take a stab at a tiny meatball, I stand ever vigilant...toothpick in hand....just any predator I wait....
    It is bobbing along in an sea of mysterious sauce, little does it suspect... my gaze is unbroken, as the Cobra is fixed on it's prey..coiled and ready to strike.
    Mmmm, holiday treats!!
  5. Dana/Beth Andrews

    Dana/Beth Andrews Huc accedit zambonis!

    What Dee & Shari said :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Beth :grin:
  6. SmittyDawg

    SmittyDawg Need another garage....

    I think I'm coming to YOUR house for Christmas, Patty! :laugh:

    Have a great holiday!

  7. 70 Skylark Conv

    70 Skylark Conv Well-Known Member

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  8. GS Shari

    GS Shari Guest

    Beth, would you liken this to trying to stab an atomic cherry with a skewer??

    Which reminds me, I ended up with a pack or two of skewers, after the party. I'll hang on to them for the picnic, o.k.?

    We have to get Patty down here for Bruce's picnic....

    :laugh: :laugh:

  9. Dana/Beth Andrews

    Dana/Beth Andrews Huc accedit zambonis!

    Yes. :laugh: :laugh:
    Keep the skewers for the picnic, I think I'll soak them less then a week next time :Dou:
    How were Barb & Mary feeling the next day :eek2: :sleep:

    Patty.... you must make it to Bruce & Shirl's party next year.

    Beth :grin:
  10. Skwee-G

    Skwee-G Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

    Bobbing for meatballs?

    Ha ha Cole, I have to KNOW you are going to have good food over at your place.
    My ever lively imagination is conjuring up an image, yes I can see it quite clearly.
    A man, a verrry tall stately man, but what's that I see?? He's wearing a June Cleaver apron! And he is chopping/mincing/dicing/stuffing/baking/roasting/basting/stirring!
    Right there, 'neath the almost full moon! :pp

    Happy Holidays to you and your family!!
  11. Dana/Beth Andrews

    Dana/Beth Andrews Huc accedit zambonis!

    Good imagination Patty, so good that now I have that image in my head :eek2: :Brow: Now all he needs to do is bring us a drink :beer
    I wonder if Beth (his wife) would take a picture & submit it for Danie's calender :Brow:

    Beth :grin:
  12. Skwee-G

    Skwee-G Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

    East Bound and Down, loaded up and truckin'

    I can't remember when that was, pre-hose squeezin' season? Too lazy to dig up the saga from this year.
    Never can tell, maybe I need to rack up more miles on the Pug Buggy-'91 with 61,000 miles!! Tsk, tsk, that's terrible!! It could double as my very own rolling Bates Motel too!
    Maybe Bruce & Shirl would tell me where to find some delicious dairy fresh squeakers (cheese curds) as an added incentive!!
    Maybe there are some as of yet untapped sources of calendar material out in that fresh dairy air?
    And I really would like to see Beth's hair-parrot :laugh:
  13. Dana/Beth Andrews

    Dana/Beth Andrews Huc accedit zambonis!

    It was in June, kind of Pre- hose squeezin' season :laugh:
    Mars Cheese Factory has the best squeekie-cheese, and it's just around the corner a piece from Bruce & Shirl's. There might be a bunch of MN.ers coming down why not hitch a ride, or pick up a few.
    Don't think I can bring the Parrot, the Redtails would get him for sure :Dou: :ball:

    Beth :grin:
  14. SmittyDawg

    SmittyDawg Need another garage....

    Well just for your information, I happen to be a pretty good cook. But I doubt that Beth will be submitting a picture for next year's calendar.......I do indeed wear a "June Cleaver" apron.......problem is, that's ALL I wear when cooking.....would definitely not make a pretty picture! :eek2:

    And Patty, you are welcome to hitch a ride with Beth & I to Bruce & Shirl's next shin-dig......I promise to leave the apron at home! :laugh:
  15. Dana/Beth Andrews

    Dana/Beth Andrews Huc accedit zambonis!

  16. GS Shari

    GS Shari Guest

    I think we've been kicking around a date of the first Saturday in June? Bruce, does that sound right?

    Should be before the mosquito season kicks into high gear, but you never know....

  17. Dana/Beth Andrews

    Dana/Beth Andrews Huc accedit zambonis!

    That would be Sat. the 4th & Sun the 5th, also the same dates as the start of the Hot Rod Power Tour.

    I need to figure out when I'm going to do Liam's birthday party, his B-day is the 7th. :Do No:

    You know Shari, tire smoke keeps mosquitos away, I'm sure OP would not mind doing burnouts all night with his line lock and all :laugh:

    Beth :grin:
  18. GS Shari

    GS Shari Guest

    You know, Beth - Marilyn is the Burn Out Queen in our group - I think she has a line lock, too. (so does Loyd, I thought!) We may have to have a little contest, perhaps....

    I think we've been discussing combining this with a Chicagoland picnic, with our club providing some of the grunts. The rest of it would be a "pitch-in" type of thing for the locals. Maybe the out of towners could pitch-in towards the purchase of beverages....(especially the adult kind!) :pp

    Lots of details to be worked out....including the finalization of the date.

    We have a little time to work on it...


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