Okay guys, think about this....

Discussion in 'Buick "Widows" support group' started by 70 Skylark Conv, Jan 11, 2005.

  1. 70 Skylark Conv

    70 Skylark Conv Well-Known Member

    I think I would change "how do I make a woman truly happy" to "how do I make a man basically happy"!!!! :laugh:

    A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly, the
    sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
    "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you
    one wish."
    The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I
    The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous
    challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports to the bottom of the
    Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust
    every natural resource I have made. I can do it, but it is hard for me to
    justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think
    of something that would honor and glorify me."
    The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish
    that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what
    she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what
    she means when she says "nothing's wrong", and how I can make a woman
    truly happy."
    The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
  2. Stage1 Jeff

    Stage1 Jeff Guest

    i'd rather have a woman who loves buicks in my life
  3. Annie Oakley

    Annie Oakley Well-Known Member

    My Theory

    OK, Dee - I'll give you my theory, even though I'm sure I'll get a lot of guff for it!! :bglasses:

    Yes, it's a generalization - but I have come to the conclusion that most men are usually in one of the following states (edited for PG format):

    1) Hungry
    2) H**** (wanting sex)
    3) Want to be alone

    Alone meaning - either physically alone, or without a woman, such as with the guys.

    So, I have been telling my girlfriends that it's very easy to keep a man basically happy. You've got 3 choices:

    1) Feed him
    2) **** him (sex)
    3) Leave him alone (until he comes back for either #1 or #2)

    Could it be that simple?? I think so....
  4. Dan Healey

    Dan Healey Well-Known Member


    Yeah, thats pretty much it. We're not too complicated. :laugh:
  5. Marco

    Marco Well-Known Member

    I agree with Dan! :beer
  6. 70 Skylark Conv

    70 Skylark Conv Well-Known Member

    I've found that it's NOT that simple! I thought I pretty well had my bases covered, but nnnoooooo!!! :af: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  7. D-Con

    D-Con Kills Rats and Mice

    Keep going, ladies. I won't have to sneak read Cosmo when no-one is around this month. :laugh:
  8. Jim Weise

    Jim Weise 1000+HP

    It sure is that simple, for about 90% of the male population.

    Your problem Dee, is that your apparently a magnet for that other 10%.

    You need to get yourself some "stay away from me if you have issues" repellent spray, and keep it handy at all times.

    You may possibly want to take a bath in it... :laugh: :pp


    And trust me, this is a situation that we as men have to deal with.. there is a good reason that story has the genders the way they are written.

    Because in my experience, all women are a little nuts, the trick is to find the one that that's the least nutty..

    Sorry Ladies, just reporting the facts as I see them..

    You can't help it, it's part of your genetic makeup, and the society we live in.

  9. Jim Weise

    Jim Weise 1000+HP

    HA... I knew there was something going on here..

    Careful Adam, you will get too "in touch" with your feminine side, and I'll have to send the "goons" out, to correct that issue.. :laugh: :rant:

    Lest you fall into the 10% mentioned above.

  10. GKMoz

    GKMoz Gary / Moz

    Definition of keeping men happy

    Thats pretty funny :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I am sitting here reading this and realized that pretty much covers it :laugh: what SHE said But i honestly don't think its that simple :)
  11. GS464

    GS464 Hopelessly Addicted

    I'm A Lucky Guy!

    My wife would rather shop at the Sears tool center, Home Depot, Lowes or the local Summit Racing Retail store than at Kohl's, Robinson's, Penney's, etc. She supports this disease some call the car "hobby" and in fact is the owner of the 71 Formula described in my signature! :beer
  12. lesabre


    thats pretty much it ladies
    Can't get much simpler

  13. 70 Skylark Conv

    70 Skylark Conv Well-Known Member

    I hope you cherish your wife. At least she also supports your disease and likes the stores you like!

    I love Home Depot, Lowe's, any auto parts accessory mags (at least the ones that will ship stuff in a timely manner-not saying anything about OPG), I HAVE THE DISEASE, and also like girly stuff as well, but I have never had my hair or nails done. That's a little too girly!

    I like the following, but maybe not in this specific order:


    And to quote Jim, "You need to get yourself some "stay away from me if you have issues" repellent spray, and keep it handy at all times.

    You may possibly want to take a bath in it..."

    Well, I make it clear up front what I do and don't want. :Smarty: I give them the benefit of the doubt at first, just to see if they are telling the truth.

    To quote Jim again, "Because in my experience, all women are a little nuts, the trick is to find the one that that's the least nutty.."

    I use to be a good "nutty", in the fun sense. This last guy I've been with has been TRYING to send me over the edge. I think he is way too much in tune with his femine side (no, NOT gay!), but he can twist stuff around more than any woman I've ever seen. :eek2: I've learned a lot of bad stuff from him. I never knew any person that could go from sweet to mean in a split second, and I'm picking it up! I never knew how to be mean until recently. Guess I grew up in a closet away from all the mean people! :Dou: :laugh:

    Yeah, better than Cosmo!!! :laugh: :laugh:

    I had promised to stop stirring up stuff a while ago, but looks like I'm still stirring, for the enjoyment of you guys out there!!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  14. D-Con

    D-Con Kills Rats and Mice

    C'mon Dee, your just have to convince yourself it's worth going without for awhile until you find a decent one. The crazies and duds will just drag you down.
  15. 70 Skylark Conv

    70 Skylark Conv Well-Known Member

    There are some decent guys out there, just not car guys! 'Bout ready to sell my cars and just get away from them (the cars). :rant:
  16. Annie Oakley

    Annie Oakley Well-Known Member

    Don't tell anyone...

    ...it might jinx it....but there's a man in my kitchen right now cooking dinner for me and I am NOT allowed to go in there..... :confused: not exactly sure what Bizarro universe I have entered, but it all started with tickets to BB King.....he's kind of a car guy, a Chebby guy, but I'll work on upgrading him...

    I won't give you all that BS, rah-rah advice like "just wait", "someone will come along", blah-blah. I'll tell you that I changed my attitude from one of waiting to one of DOING - if you were looking for a job (a house, a car, etc), what would you do?

    Go on the 'hunt'.

    (Lost my train of thought as I was attacked by the cook and momentarily distracted)

    Anyway, stop waiting for someone to like you and start looking at it as interviewing them as whether they are worthy of your time. It sounds harsh, and I didn't explain it very well, but I'm thinking it's an ATTITUDE thing. :bglasses:

    If all else fails, PM me Dee, and I'll send you my copy of "Why Men Love B*t*hes" when I'm through with it!! :spank:

    now.....to sneak out into the kitchen and see what all the ruckus is about.... :laugh:
  17. Stage1 Jeff

    Stage1 Jeff Guest

    there are lots of decent car guys out there
    i am the kind of man who would put the woman first in my life,and if she loved buicks,i would love that as well!!
  18. D-Con

    D-Con Kills Rats and Mice

    Where do you find a woman that does that? :confused:

    Is there a book called "why women love a-holes?"
  19. GS464

    GS464 Hopelessly Addicted

    Not too awfully long ago, I read the following somewhere:

    "Given enough rope, Bad Boys always hang themselves. Given enough room, Bad Girls always reveal themselves." Seems to be more than a grain or two of truth in that, IMHO.

    Hang in there Dee. Keep your eyes open and the right guy will appear when you least expect it. That is how I met my wife. And yes, I do cherish her. :bglasses:
  20. 70 Skylark Conv

    70 Skylark Conv Well-Known Member

    Well, thought I found a great Buick guy. He cooks, does some cleaning, helps out with the car, said he would worship me since I was a Buick nut, blah, blah, blah. Turns out he has lied to me (BIG BAD THING WITH ME-NO LYING!), since I've caught him in several lies, I don't trust him, so he turns it around on me and accuses me of lying. Since he has been in the health care field, he thinks he knows about psychological issues. I didn't have any psychological issues before he came around, but he accuses me of having lots of them. I've never had ANY problem with any man I've ever been with. Everyone (except him) has said I am very well grounded, blah, blah. I believe he knows about psychological issues because he is VERY FAMILIAR with them himself!!! :eek2: It's my fault for sticking with him, we do have fun together and like all the same things, so that's my vice.

    Guess I better PM Annie so I can borrow her book! :laugh:

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