I'm getting the impression we're not getting the full story here and that you're being forced to sell it. Be that the case, you are lose all the way around. First, you lose yourself, because you just gave half of you away. Next, you lose the wife, who doesn't want you to sell it, knowing what you're about to lose if you do. And third, you're going to lose your shorts because a forced sale of a car is never an equitable one. Some asshat is going to come in and see and sense the desperation and take royal advantage of you. You lose, all the way around, there's no win to this. If it's cash you need, there's other ways to get it done. Explore every legal opportunity you can think of before you have to sell the car. If you are forced to sell it, you are not going to like the result, and you probably won't be all that much better off.
Or she will see that there isn't one of us who thinks that $80,000 is reasonable for a wedding. And exactly what toll it's taking on her Father and Mother..
About twenty years ago, my niece's fiance sold his 1964 1/2 Mustang, white with red pony interior,[ That was HIS father's gift to him for graduation] to purchase his engagement and wedding rings. At WAY below value even then... I told her that he REALLY must love her, and that he was an idiot. They are still together, one kid getting ready for college, and drive a stupid Chevy VOLT (or as I call it Re-Volt). Was it worth it? They could have financed their daughter's college with what it is worth.
In thinking about this, something doesn't make sense here. Steve's daughter is getting married in TWO WEEKS. That means that all this was planned months ago right? Deposits had to be paid to schedule all this and agreed to. And Steve said he just found out the cost? Is he expected to shell out 80 large with no say and no way to back out of it? I don't get it.
Well I can't believe I opened up this can O worms. I am beside myself the outpouring of all y'all support. I told my son today that I may be selling the car. To make ends meet. He said absolutely not. (I only told him) My daughter shows up( the one getting married) I'm out cutting grass. My two other daughters find out from my son that car is for sale. Boom **** hit the fan! Total fist fight. My other daughters went ape ****. Hit my oldest daughter in the face. After she spent $6,000 on her teeth for the wedding! You can't make this up! Total white trash screaming session! Then it turns on me! How dare I say the car has to be sold! I'm telling you all this because you all jumped on for concern. Not happy. Really ashamed. You have a big family. And do your Best. But it is never good enough. This is TV material! Picking teeth caps off the floor! Unreal!
Jason it's all a scam! These people that do weddings! This is a reputable hotel! To boot! I tried to get them to go anywhere. To get married by themselves ! And have money to put on a house!
Wow, that is crazy.....you can take a test and get ordained online for like $35. I'll donate the cash and do the wedding. You just pay for my plane ticket. I need a vacation anyway......
WTH was so wrong with her teeth that she needed 6K worth of work to be presentable? Now I've spent a boatload of money on my mouth over the years due to 10 yrs of drug abuse and low life living and can see a valid need for good teeth but to do it for the sole purpose of looking good for a wedding? Really? If she lost her caps super glue will work just fine for 1.99 a tube. Personal exp talking.
Wedding costs remind me of government projects, when its finished you wonder what they needed so much money for. I like my wife's answer, she would tell her daughter "If you want such an expensive wedding, you are going to have to pay for it." Bob H.
Steve, I sincerely hope you have a unique since of humor and are just trolling all of us here. If so, well played Sir, well played.... But if not, whats the full story? Who sprung the "I need 80k in two weeks for my wedding" thing on you? Now I dont want to tell you how to parent your kids, but you did ask for honest input, so here we go. If it was your daughter, some serious tough love may be needed here, and what a teachable moment for a life lesson it would be. Ever hear "a lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine"? This would be a good example of one such situation. Did you sign on some dotted lines without reading the fine print and now the venues/caterers/lounge band has your tit in a ringer? If so, losing the deposit and walking away still sounds less painful than hocking the car to feed the vultures. Whatever the case, the crew here hit the nail on the head as they so often do. If you sell the car to finance this thing (which step outside your own brain and think about it, EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS for a wedding is absolutely LUDICROUS. Unless you're Oprah rich, thats just nuts. Tell your daughter to quit trying to keep up with the kardashians!) you're going to regret it, and possibly resent all involved. Thats doing yourself and them a disservice. Also, it sounds as though the family has made it clear in no uncertain terms that they are absolutely against you selling the car. So, again IMHO, this shouldnt even be a question. But as with what others said, just my 2 pennies worth (which you're welcome to put towards the wedding! haha).
Another point to consider. Sounds like you have 3 daughters and a son. So if you pony up for the daughter getting married what are you going to do when the next 2 daughters decide to have an 80k wedding just like their sister got?
Well all I can say is from the heart stopping wedding quote, the teeth flying beat down, and the thought of then sacrificing your car to ENABLE such people that this is nothing short of an every morning wake up of "Damn! I hope this was just a dream generated by a Jerry Springer episode!". I remember during the financial depression hearing about the huge losses from my well heeled buddies. Knowing our families lifetime of trials one asked me how we were doing and I just said I am finally glad I had NOTHING to lose! Lol If I go down stairs(yes still in bed because all my injuries keep me awake Wah Wah) and I open the frig there will be 2 eggs,4 hotdogs,a half gallon on milk and a couple apples. Like yourself we have VERY little savings and due to my heavily reduced income for disability even after working like a dog since 13 years old it's just a matter of time (late this summer) that the bills will exceed our income. You get through it a day at a time though and with Gods grace and mercy IMHO though and while we don't always have what we WANT we have what we NEED and I think that is a powerful lesson our children have learned. Took me a long time to grasp the verse about "be joyful in ALL circumstances " the key there is faith of course that you are being supplied what you need (like a father providing a reasonable wedding for her and her husband to enter marriage, might save a few teeth too if another brawl breaks out at the open bar). Short of an intervention to clear the air with the whole family this just looks like a bad baaaaaaaaaaad idea. You WILL lose your butt on your car(be lucky to get 20k on a fire sale then still "owe" 60k) so technically the car isn't solving this bill! You aren't happy about this,your wife doesn't want you to sell and sounds like from the yard beat down on your daughter that the kids aren't going to be singing around the camp fire arm in arm anytime soon : ( For some reason I keep picturing a GS with as many 55 gallon drums of gas as it will hold in the trunk and interior rumbling down the road in the opposite direction of this potential train wreck. I just hope you are pulling our legs on all this because this isn't changing anytime soon without a serious adult conversation, only thing that will change is an empty spot in the garage,a huge leftover bill and a lot of hot tempers. No way to start a marriage and expect it to last, if not for a strong foundation and the grace of God my wife and I would have never made it 28 years this September. I hope there is a moment of clarity, reasonableness, and amends made and this marriage can start off on the right foot. If that is not in the cards then my only suggestion is from John Belushi in Animal House after Flounders brothers car got trashed "My suggestion to you is to start drinking heavily " Seriously though good luck man, in a tough pickle there
I have seven kids. From 28 to 7 yr old twins. I told my oldest kids "Your wedding your dime". I will help with food but it comes from where I buy it not from a $40 a plate caterer. And then there is college....I wont pay for that either. My two boys joined the military and received benefits to go to school.. Call me a hard @ss but Im not selling anything I worked my butt off to have to pay for something that has a 50-50 chance of survival like a marriage.
So sorry to hear about all the drama, I hope things get sorted out and I DO hope you get to keep your car!
