Man I just need to rant a bit! Just helped my wife load up the van and clean all the windows off so she can go..............shopping..........again! The van is parked on the left side of our little wagon and both are backed into their parking spaces. There is a ton of room in front before any turning needs to be done and she will be going right to go up our lane. She tells me of all her plans and puts the window up and I watch as she drives off. Anyone want to guess what she does????? Sitting still she turns the steering full lock to the right and rubs the entire right rear of the van across the left front bumper cover of the wagon!! Keep in mind that this is right after going completely around the van and cleaniong it off and opening the pass side front door, so it wasn't like she didn't know where the other car was! Right in front of my eyes, at LEAST $1000.00 worth of damage that will NEVER get fixed because we don't have the funds. The real sad part is that she REALLY doesn't CARE!! In her mind, these are just THINGS and really aren't that important! Right before she did this, I caught her beating the snow off of the snow brush on the front bumper cover!!!! I had to actually explain that that wasn't a good way to do it and suggest that she tap it on the tire. This holds true for kitchen drawers she shuts so hard that I have to repair the fronts, the doors that all get slammed, instead of shut, etc. etc. etc......... Trust me here, I am far from anal about how I take care of things but we are talking about items that eat up a lot of money and I would like them to last as long as they can! The stuff today is built about half as good as it was years ago and requires gentle handling if it is going to hold up! I even held a "class" one day after fixing the bi-fold closet door to show her how to open and shut it in a manner that won't bend the track that guides it. I showed her the staples and glue that hold the drawer fronts on and explained that they aren't as strong as the dovetail joints on more expensive drawers. Even went into the physics of how an object in motion carries energy and the amount of energy is related to the rate of speed it is moving, and the weight of all the silverware that is in it. Now please don't get me wrong, I love this woman and I won't be on America's most wanted over this, but I have been trying my best to teach her how to teat things for YEARS and I don't seem to be getting ANYWHERE!!! And BTW, it is NEVER her fault! I will be to blame because the wagon was too close to the van. She punched a hole in the van's bumper cover backing into my car trailer and that was my fault because I shouldn't have parked it where I did. It had been there for a MONTH! She scraped the left rear of my 79 Electra and if was my fault because I had her driving a car that was too big. She smashed the front of the van when we first got it because the brakes weren't the same as they were on the old van. The ONE time it wasn't my fault is when she got her first van. She was mad because I picked the cars so she decided to buy the van and broke the pass side mirror on it the day she got it parking next to a phone pole! Now how do we improve ourselves if we have NO faults???? I really try and make it easy on her and that is the reason that the van was backed into the space in the first place. I didn't want her to have to do any "tricky" driving, like back up AND steer! I should have known years ago when I was working in a small automotive shop and this cute girl with a neck brace came in, that I was in for a bumpy ride!!! So what do I do here? Turn her over my knee? o No: Thanks, I feel a little better now! Ken
Somehow she needs to learn that what's not important to her might be important to somebody else? When my car got hit while parked this August i wanted nothing more than to make the girl who hit my car actually fix it, and correctly, which probably would have cured her of j@ckass manuevers for the rest of her life this could be quite an ugly scene
Wow.... I bet I can speak for all the married guys here....we feel your pain and you are not alone!!!! Who the heck knows what goes on in those brains? o No:
Ken, It's your fault. It's all your fault. It will always be your fault. I came home for lunch one day a few years back. I was surprised to see my wifes car in the driveway and thought "cool I can have lunch with my wife". So I pulled the big block 69 Skylark, that I used as a daily driver at the time, in right behind her new Lumina. As walked up to the porch she came walking out and said she had to go, she was just picking something up she had forgoten that morning. I stood there on the porch and watched her get in her car, start it, buckle up, throw it in reverse and slam into my Skylark. How could she not see a big brown Buick. Who's fault? Mine. Why? Because she said so.
Well said, and not to be too forward, but did you think that driving is not for everyone, and that is why public transportation was invented.
How right you are :rant: I'm thinking the same thing, except I'm married to wife #2 Now I'm thinking wife #1 wasn't that bad :spank:
Oh man, this sounds just like my wife. Her theory is thats its all insignificant and doesn't matter. Scratches and dents on the car.. all that stuff doesn't matter to her. Everything costs crazy money these days, keep it nice as long as possible is what I say. I dated her for 10 years and then married her, so I can't really complain, I knew what I was getting.
That could kill two birds with one stone! In her eyes, everything that needs done in the house is easy and should have been done days ago. If she actually were to do any of the work, she may feel differently! I have made up MORE lies to tell her when she comes over with one of those home books to show me the door or window that we just need to have! It Would be one thing if it was easy, but it's always something like move the entire kitchen somewhere else so we can put a sliding glass door where the standard door is. Rather that just telling her I won't do it and it's too much work and you will decide you don't like it when I'm done, I'll tell her about the load bearing header or some other silly excuse just so she'll drop it. The best is when she will try and fix something that she knows broke because she abused it and doesn't want me to find out! Then I have to fix it eventually but it is always harder to do after the bad repair. I like when something is broken, but she doesn't know how it happened?? Come home from work one day and her Cutlass is in the garage..........She NEVER parks in the garage becaise she can't seem to make it in the hole too well. I walk in and it's REALLY close to the wall up front?? I take a good look and see that it's all smashed in so I go upstairs and ask her what happened to the car? "What car?" I also forgot the time she hit a pot hole so badly she bent the rim and broke the belts in the tire! Me and the utility company were both at fault for that one. I was to blame because she was coming from the beer distributor and the utility company was to blame because she was looking at the speed limit sign on the pole that the put right by that pot hole! Ken
Now I know that neither of these cars are going to get fixed but I wonder if I should plan a trip to the body shop for some estimates just so she can see what it would cost???? Through the paint on both of them and on rubber areas on both. I'm saying at LEAST $1000.00!! Ken
LOL!! I am divorced from a woman who was never wrong...... she can keep on being right, with someone else! It's amazing how women bash men for stupid things, but many of them are far worse in just about every way! Ya, they might be fun to look at......but in my book it isn't worth the expense (monetarily or mentally). There are a few out there that are exceptions...... but those are very few at best. Mike
2 step approach First step: Find friends, family discussion boards or any other outlet you can find to vent. You've got a good start on this one. Second step: Decide if you want to make an issue out of this. There's a long history and some pent up bad feelings. It's getting very close to a "it's the principal of the thing" which is always a huge warning sign. Eventually you will see her as not caring and she'll see you as nothing but a jerk who hounds her about stupid stuff. Don't let it get that far. Let it go or fix it. If you want to try to resolve this proceed to step 3. If not repeat step 1 until you feel better or decide to move to step 3. Third step: Decide what specifically you want changed. Avoid generalities like "be more gentle with everything". Pick 1 or 2 cars and drawer fronts seem like leading contenders. Fourth step: Discuss it with your wife ADULT to ADULT. You need to be very careful to avoid sounding parental. If you act parental she'll react childish and it goes downhill from there. Tell her that the 1 or 2 specific things bother you. Tell her why it bothers you. Do NOT go into history, Do NOT make generalizations, Do NOT justify your position (it bothers you that's enough) be very specific. If she cares about you she should be interested in making your life less annoying. Fifth step: Listen to what she says in response. If she's defensive tell her that this is just a quirk of yours and you're asking for her help. THIS IS THE KEY! IT BOTHERS YOU AND YOU ARE ASKING FOR HER HELP. It's not a matter of fault or blame or anything else. It sounds like she bangs around her world as a way of releasing anger, perhaps she could use another outlet? If she's willing to make it better decide TOGETHER what you hope will change. Be specific, cars and drawers that's it. Sixth step: Be prepared to resolve an issue or 2 that she has in exchange. Seventh step: Thank her when she shows progress, forgive her when she forgets. Work hard at whatever came up in step 6. Eighth step: Enjoy driving your Buick :3gears:
Man, I feel like I'm going to get a bill for that! That's just some very sound advise! My biggest problem is going to be step 8, I don't have a Buick :ball: :ball: :ball: :ball: :ball: :ball: :ball: :ball: :ball: Now look what you did!! Kick a guy when he's down won't you! I think these other issues will need addressed before I want to have one parked around here anyway! Ken
Can't speak for me. If my wife ever did that she'd know not to come home. She appreciates my Buick habit as much as I do... This problem our Buick buddy is having I fear is more than just "Buick" deep.
I"M SORRY THAT SOME OF YOU WERE MISSLEAD!!! I see that some of you thought that my wagon was a Buick and I'm truely sorry to upset you guys like that. The truth is, it is a Saturn wagon and not even a twin-cam. I didn't want to mention that to avoid the shame of owning it but I see that I caused a lot of confusion and had some of you thinking that she hit my Buick wagon!!!!!! Here again, I have to shame myself and point out that at this point, I don't own a Buick. :ball: I would love to replace the van with a Roadmaster but I'm sure she would just tear it up and sadden me even more. Sorry again for the confusion and once again, NO BUICK WAGON WAS HURT IN THIS AMs CARELESS DRIVING BY MY WIFE!!!! Ken
It seems you left a step out... Step Nine: Be blamed for everything that might occur as a result of this "changing". I guess I'm kinda lucky, my girlfriend is very very careful with everything, more so if it's mine than her's. She was scared to drive my Stealth because it was a manual, but I taught her Don't feel too bad, NoCar, I don't own a Buick either. I think maybe just showing her how much money and time she is costing the both of you might help, you have to make her SEE that things are worse off because of the actions, not just tell her. And... make HER drive the wagon Good luck man!
This has happend in my house a few time..so what i do is. i tell her that she cant (neither i or her) go shopping for anything because we dont have the money any more becuase we have to fix what ever she broke. She quicktly figure out how to come up w/ some money and fix what ever was broken...just to she can get back to shopping. She's more careful now but still little things happen. You break...You buy!!! Doesnt work w/ everybody but it's worth a try uzzled: ou:
Once again, I have to admit that I usually drive the van and she usually drives the wagon. Yes, I said it! I drive a soccer mom van and usually have two kids in it too! But I could be a man and drive my truck! I usually leave it at home because I don't like leaving it in parking lots and getting the kids in and out of it all the time. It's my first ever new vehicle and I'm doing my best to keep it nice. Ken
