Nothing say's lovin, like a body cavity search

Well got Rhonda's car all stripped and of to the body shop last night. The trip across the border was NOT as PLANNED !!!!! :af: :ball: :shock:
My mirror on my truck got ripped of in another episode of dumb criminals and me the hot head -- But that's another adventure...
Any ways I have the family and a friend driving to Canada with me he's holding the mirror outside every time I have to change lanes. Make it all the way to Detroit to the bridge . As we are crossing the bridge we here the car moving in the trailer- so my buddy jumps out at the toll both to check!! RED FLAG!!!!! :af:
Lady at the booth starts grilling me-Can't figure out why the guys hanging out the window over the bridge- Doesn't understand why a NASCAR driver would be painting my car- or why I would go all the way to canada -to get it done!!! Merry Christmas pull over here and see these nice Guys with GLOVES!!! :shock: :moonu: 1 hour later feeling like a dumbass and embarised that I asked for the guys phone # when he was done -we were on our way up the QUEENS Highwy. ou:
Deliver the car, everyone laughs, head for home. All's well -- NOT!!!!
RED FLAGGED AGAIN on the way home- Tore my trailer apart looking for something- went though Every inch o No: Couldn't understand why I was hauling an empty trailer home!! :rant:

I guess Brian calling me ahkmed and Osama Bin Clary stuck!
:laugh: uzzled:

 

So did your prostate check out OK?

 

I don't know I just coughed it up now.!!! :laugh: :laugh:

 

Yikes !!!!


musta felt like just another Saturday night at Casey's ......... :moonu:

 

Called him

I called Casey but he couldn't go, all though I'm sure he would of enjoyed parts of it :Brow: !! :Brow: Maybe he tipped them off ????

 

So the quarter ounce of oregano I had planned for the map pocket wouldn't have been well received ??????? :grin:

We were grilled a couple of times crossing in and out of the US on our recent Alaska trip. They never searched our trailer though ..... and that's with a 50 pound hunk of Jade hidden underneath the bed. They don't like it when you have "undeclared" minerals and gems in your possession. I had one US customs official try to catch me off guard in the question/answer game. HE could BARELY speak fluent English, and he's a US Customs agent ??????? :af: I know it's a necessary fact of life for the safety of everyone ..... but boy can it be a pain in the @$$.

PS - They don't like it when they ask you to shut your diesel off to talk, and you say "HUH", and "WHY". Not a good response. uzzled:

 

Oh well

Maybe next time I'll take the turbin and the clerks vest Off...

 

No - no, coughing is for your hernia check. That happens a little forward of the prostate exam :moonu: and is usually accompanied with a head turn (which isn't necessary, but it distracts you from looking down and seeing what's happening).

Gotta like a thorough border patrol agent/physician!

 

Lost oppertunity

Just think Casey that could of been you being frisked up against the wall.
As for the smuggled gems in your possesion , do you think this is the best place to discuss that ??? ou: :laugh: :TU:

 

As for the smuggled gems in your possesion


Were they family jewels?? o No:

 

ou:

Tim..Tim... Tim

It's always an adventure isn't it! :laugh:

 

The head turn is so you don't cough in your doctor's face.
At least his face is supposed to be at your face level .......

 

here's a good one for ya. A customer relayed this between his brother-in-law and a young female border officer. Here's the set-up:
He and his wife are going into Canada for a weekend vacation in their pick-up which happens to have a NRA Lifetime Member in its' back window. The young female oficer notices it and starts forming an opinion right away:

Officer: Sir, what is your purpose for coming into Canada?

Gentleman: My wife and I are wanting to spend a romantic weekend in your beautiful country. We're looking to stay at a nice hotel and eat at your fine establishments.

O: And you don't have any guns?

G: No.

O: If you don't have any guns then how do you plan on protecting yourself while you're in Canada (saying this very sarcasticly)?

G: With a condom!

This got him an immediate body cavity search She wasn't too happy with his reply and it wasn't until an older officer came over to see what was taking so long that the gentleman and his wife were allowed to enter (but only after relaying to the older officer what transpired )

 

This is BS right? PLEASE tell me they dont actually do this when you cross the boarder.

 

Tim,

Didn't you relay to the officer that you were friends with the Canadian Clump! o No: That should have moved you right threw the line! I unfortunately can picture what Tim might have looked like! :moonu:

 

Last year returning from JJ's place in my truck, a mid eastern US security guard stopped me on the way back in at Detroit. Didn't have an NRA sticker on my truck, but he sure didn't like the Bush/Cheney bumper sticker on it. Made me shut off the diesel (you're right, Casey, they don't like diesel noise). I couldn't understand him or his questions, and he got really pissed when I asked him to please speak more slowly. I was very patient and polite, offerred him my Passport, he refused to take it, then proceeded to ask me where I was born, etc. Told him: Joplin, Mo. Smart ass then said, never heard of it. He then proceeded to grille me as to why I don't have receipts for everything in the truck (floor jack in the back, coupla bumpers, tow strap, etc. Told him they were in the truck on the way over that morning, but he wanted me to prove that I didn't buy them in Canada. Ever try to prove a negative to an idiot? This went on for about 15 minutes and finally let me in with a disgusted look on his face. At that point I would have almost been happy to be pulled over andd checked.

At one point I figured I may have a shot at getting sent to Gitmo and get some panties on my head. Nice.

 

I have friends/family in Mich.. Never had a cavity search. :shock: In fact my wife and I go to Mich. about every 2nd weekend. Just don't act nervous or cocky and look them in the eye and act honest. There will be no problem. It's no big deal to cross countries. If you act cocky or like you are hiding something you will get pulled in.
Ray

 

That is true ..... kinda

If you are crossing the border for two days in your Ford Escape or whatever passenger car is a TON different than when you say that you've been gone for six weeks and are just now coming back. OR, having a trailer that can "transport" goods or whatever, gets you the added bonus of having a more in-depth conversation. Agreed -- cocky or suspicious answers do draw attention. I have to watch myself. I'm a smart-@$$ in general. So I gotta throttle it down when I'm asked to have a serious tone. :grin: Guess I follow after my father. He passed thru the border in Windsor once coming back thru after being gone for an afternoon with my mom to have lunch. The guy was grilling him, and taking forever. His smart-@$$ meter began to rise. When coming to the question about what you bought, he said a .25 cent pack of gum. Off to "the side" he went .............

 

Is this business or pleasure?!?

You guys should try crossing in a HEARSE... :eek2:

 

Just don't ever say Business and Pleasure! :shock: :laugh: