Please no one take offense at this, it is all meant in fun! > ROMANCE MATHEMATICS > > Smart man + smart woman = romance > > Smart man + dumb woman = affair > > Dumb man + smart woman = marriage > > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy > > > OFFICE ARITHMETIC > > Smart boss + smart employee = profit > > Smart boss + dumb employee = production > > Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion > > Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime > > SHOPPING MATH > > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. > > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she > doesn't need. > > > GENERAL EQUATIONS &STATISTICS > > A woman worries about the future until she > gets a husband. > > A man never worries about the future until he > gets a wife. > > A successful man is one who makes more money > than his wife can spend. > > A successful woman is one who can find such a > man. > > > HAPPINESS > > To be happy with a man, you must understand > him a lot and love him a little. > > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a > lot and not try to > understand her at all. > > > LONGEVITY > > Married men live longer than single men do, > but married men are a lot > more willing to die. > > > PROPENSITY TO CHANGE > > A woman marries a man expecting he will > change, but he doesn't. > > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't > change, and she does. > > > DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE > > A woman has the last word in any argument. > > Anything a man says after that is the > beginning of a new argument. > > > HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT > GETTING MARRIED > > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, > poking me in the ribs > and cackling, telling me, "You're next." > > They stopped after I started doing the same > thing to them at funerals.
