Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Why do you have to "put your two cents in.," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Why does a round pizza come in a square box? What disease did cured ham actually have? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
????? What the heck got into you today? Three nonsense posts?? :bglasses: And....Why aren't you working on that car? ou: Jim :Brow:
Oh come on now Jim, You liked em. Not working on the car because the Buick budget got turned into new house budget thanks to currant lanlord jacking the rent to the stratisphere on us.
Wrapped to tight?? ME...Wrapped too tight????? :af: No way! :rant: I guess, now that you mention it Eric, I did hear about that. I have a tent you could have, then you wouldn't worry about the rent. You ought to buy yourself a house, then you can go broke like me, trying to fix it up! Jim :Brow:
I'm pondering here And I got some answers. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? More improtant than most people that yak on cell phones. Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? I always figured it was a cross section of the animal (or animal part) in question. Why do you have to "put your two cents in.," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Most thoughts aint got no sense. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? All the old clothes you ever wore (even the ugly ones) meet you in clothing heaven. What disease did cured ham actually have? Whatever it was, it was fatal. If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? What Coke are we talking? Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Due to the fact that The movie actually travels through the air to hit the screen the actors are contained within the air. Hence the term "Airheads." How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Depending on who you ask, we often get the choice for president wrong with just two options, think about the ramifications if we had to choose from fifty! Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. The body bends in disturbing ways while you undress. If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? 411 Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? It's incentive to learn Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" Thanks Calvin and Hobbes. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Makes good sand paper with a good grip already built in When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling? It's like when you were 12 and your dad made you smile in every picture, just to torture you. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Beats who let the dogs out. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Only if the corpse is a member of the undead If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? With Mary anne and the Movie star would you really want to get off the island? The compition was Gilligan and the Skipper. The Professor was set for life! Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! different stages of evolution. How come mickey only wears pants and donald only a shirt? What do you call male ballerinas? Male ballerinas If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Why do people fish? Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Same composer just cashing in on a hit. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? You have bad breath. And the official answer to all the rest is Who Cares!
Excellent reply, Trevor. Now try this one: If my arm itches in public, no one notices if I scratch it. Why can't I do the same with my balls? They itch more often; and you can't actually see them while I'm scratching. Is not being visual the problem? Should I pull down my pants next time and scratch? My nose is visible; why isn't "itching the inside of it" acceptable? What if it were inside-out? I've always wondered about that.
Come on, Trevor: You can do better than that! ou: Jim :Brow: PS I am still drying the tears from my eyes. ROFLOL
Can you cry under water? Yep. Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? Probably because they were designed by the same person that did the pizza box, and put different amounts of hot dogs in a pack than buns. Why do you have to "put your two cents in.," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Shipping and handling. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? Only if you are a golfer. What disease did cured ham actually have? Being square. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Maybe they mean the messed themselves. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because they're stupid. How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America? Because no one wants to look at Presidential contestants in bikini's? Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. To turn on the camera. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? We should start them on Spaghetti-Os. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Ours has a light. When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? So the people in line think you had good service. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Only if the corpse rids shotgun. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Because of Gilligan. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Hmm, sounds like a good idea to me. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Well, if you've ever watched SOAP, you should know. What do you call male ballerinas? Ballerinos? Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? Yes and Yes. If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Because he had a contract with Haliburton. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? It would seem so. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Because I'm a stupid person who pays money to go up in a building only to put quarters in a binocular to look at things on the ground. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Because of the moon...
