Weapons Inspectors?

Discussion in 'The Bench' started by 12lives, Mar 11, 2003.

  1. 12lives

    12lives Control the controllable, let the rest go

    Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrivedin Iraq? They're all men! How in the name of the United Nations doesanyone expect men to find Saddam's stash?

    We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. Forcrying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction?

    I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters.
    They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective. So... considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats?

    My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And God help him if he tried to lie to her. She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bare bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad. He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole damn summer.

    Inspectors my ass... You want the job done? Call my mother.
     
  2. BuickStreet

    BuickStreet Well-Known Member

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    :Smarty: :Smarty: :Smarty:

    :TU: :TU: :TU:
     
  3. mhorn

    mhorn Well-Known Member

    :grin: Hey Bill! I didn't know your mom and my mom were sisters!:laugh:

    Mike
     
  4. Dale

    Dale Sweepspear

    Good point Bill. The inspectors should be women with motherly instincts. They could guilt trip the Iraqis' into telling them where everything is just by giving them that look mothers have.

    ("Hmm..., are you sure those are all the missles you have hidden away young man?" :puzzled: )

    So, where is Saddam's Mother?
    Or did he take her out too?
     
  5. mygrain

    mygrain quivering member

    And they can scout out the most cleverly hidden Playboy mag from any boys room. Never fails. And of course shed burn them in the back yard in front of us. :ball: :ball:
    ________
    Washington Medical Marijuana
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2011
  6. Dan K

    Dan K Well-Known Member

    Very funny, and scary. Great idea. Too, I think those guys are intimidated by women with authority. Do they have lawns in Baghdad? Dan
     

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