(from my humor file...) THE REAL MAN ON WHEELS Remember when being a Real Man meant flying down the highway at 100 MPH stone drunk, with one hand on the wheel, one hand on a blonde, and another on a can of Bud? Fortunately, some things never change, and the automobile still remains the sacred shrine of Real Men everywhere. But while Real Men still drive too fast, drink too much, and generally reject such obtuse concepts as bridge tolls, fuel economy, environmental controls, and speed limits, there ARE several new twists in the rules of the road. To wit: 1) Real Men no longer drive Corvettes. Despite being able to squander gas with the best of them, even todays enlightened Real Man finds the notion of a $30,000 plastic car with no trunk somewhat absurd (Real Men, after all, need cars made of good solid steel with enough storage space to carry around wine, women, shotguns, and all of the other essential paraphernalia that Real Men find essential on the open road). 2) Real Men do not drive sports cars. MG's, Fiats, Maseratis, Triumphs, or Aston Martins. They've come to realize that spending a sum equivalent to the gross national debt of England on a car, not to mention having to adopt a mechanic, is not the most cost effective way of proving their masculinity. 3) Real Men do not drive stick shifts. They're secure enough to let their gears be shifted automatically. 4) Real Men who live in cities do not drive Jeeps. 5) Real Men do not order the courtesy light group. 6) Real Men do not have vanity plates. (What self respecting Real Man would drive a car tagged "Cutsie"?, or "His 'N' Hers"?) 7) Real Men do not put bunny stickers in the rear window; they don't have flared fenders, moon roofs, air dams, fog lights, racing gloves, cruise control, or six-tone airhorns that play "here comes the bride...". 8) Real Men don't own vans with murals of naked women, or sunsets painted on the side. So what do Real Men drive? Its simple: Buicks. Massive, hulking, gas-guzzling, get-the-hell-outa-my-way-dammit-Im-not-afraid-of-anything-mobiles. Big Unstoppable Indestructible Car Killers. With 4-barrel carbs, an automatic transmission, and 5 million cubic inches under the hood. Real Men are, after all, realistic: How are you ever going to loose a State Trooper in a Honda??? P.S. Real Men also know that Grease is a way of life: lube with it, cook with it, bathe in it.
Bull, I would not have even bought my GS if it was an automatic. They just are too much fun to drop a clutch at 3000 RPM and blow of the rears until you get to third:Brow:
How about: "Officer this car won't do 120 see watch.. here hold my BEER" (as he spins off) :bglasses: :beer Ronnie
