Hi Annie, I will pray things get better for you but please,please,please,stay in the house and away from anything that might look menacing at all,its better to be safe than sorry.
Just reading all the love you have here on the Board from fellow memebers praying for you has to brighten your days a little! keep the faith ladies and smile. you never know whos watching God Bless
You have arrived... Welcome to planet earth . As long as you are here now...make the best of it... and...be sure where you are going when you leave. GSX Eric :3gears:
I have to agree with Dee on this one. Seems she and I are having very similar problems and really working hard to walk the straight and narrow. Sounds like she has faith and has questioned it directly. I, on the other hand, have investigated many faiths, belief systems, theologies. I've been to different churches, but never had 'proper' bible study. I've even looked at the eastern religions, the Native American types, and even looked at the more Wiccan types (not any satanistic things, though). This has been more along the realm of a study, not a full blown joining in. I find that none of them satisfy my questions completely. I would most likely be classified as an agnostic. The theory of "bad things are happening because Jesus/God is trying to get your attention" has been offered to me before. What really bothers me about that is: how is making me miserable supposed to make me want to participate? It's like an abusive boyfriend - "he's going to beat you until you love him, because he loves you! Can't you see that?" Besides that, God must have better things to do than think up ways to keep making these things happen to me. That's why I just can't take the leap of faith based on that theory. Now, I definitely believe that there is a universal governance. Who or what controls & manipulates it, I haven't found an answer that satisfies me yet. But, after my accident (7/03) I started calling it "Kosmic Justice". There is system to keep the good vs bad balanced. My accident was the wake up call and an evening of the system. Anyway, that's where I'm at now theologically. There is a pattern of Karma. "My Name is Earl" (funny show) really hits it on the head, to a point. I do believe in the power of prayer (or good vibes, etc). I have full respect in the spirituality of others, regardless of the source, because I believe it had everything to do with me living through the accident and getting better. And it came from all different sources, not just Christian ones. And, while I believe that Dee and I are logical, and fully understand that life will never be perfect, that there will always be ups & downs - there just becomes a point where you have to say "enough is enough". When your friends are the ones bringing up her/my endless bad luck, pondering it, etc. it leaves us to believe that it isn't because we are over dramatizing it and that it is excessive. I even have one friend who has penned the term "Ann's black cloud of doom". It all brings us back to the quintescential questions. Why? What purpose? Who controls it? What are we here for? How long? When will it end? What happens next? And the answers are based upon the belief system of the person giving the answers. Since it's been pondered for centuries by much more intelligent persons than me, and hasn't been answered yet, I guess I don't feel so bad to still be confused. Here's the bad from today: couldn't get to work, my whole body ached, couldn't just rest, got kicked out of my house because the new carpet is being installed, now I'm exiled in the kitchen. It's snowing like crazy, I alm ost got the Regal stuck, the carpet kids got their van stuck, then I wiped out in the driveway (in front of the carpet kids), my prosthetic leg is now out of alignment. The driveway needs to be plowed, I'm not thrilled about doing it now, in the dark, hurting, tired and aggravated. The good: I got most of my Christmas shopping done when I got kicked out, I went to breakfast by myself, I didn't get the car stuck and had a barrel of fun 4-wheeling it around the yard while the carpet kids watched; after I wiped out on my butt, the 20-something, tattooed burly carpet kid came out and helped me up :Brow: , and I'm never really fully snowed in because I can get out to the beastly dually and have always been able to get out, and further, if it's that bad in the morning - it'll be a great excuse to take another day off (which I do have unused vac days - and my current project is no emergency). And once they are done working in my house, I can take my prosthesis off and attack it with an allen wrench and most likely fix it. So, yes, I think I am still able to see both sides!! But still confused
There is hope Ladies and Especially Annie, First of all let me correct some poor theology from your last post. Please understand that there is a battle for power happening in world today. It is the battle of good and evil. Let me assure you that none of these things that are bad are brought on you from God. He does not tempt nor does he trouble you with events that discourage you and depress you. The truth is: He loves you!! He also knew before you were born what you would go through during you lifetime. Girls, we all go through it whether it be death of a child, divorce or a bankruptcy which I endured years ago. They all hurt but let it be known that they are brought on us by the evil one and poor choices we make in our lives. Isn't it cool that he gives us the freedom of choice. We screw it up bigtime but he is always there with open arms waiting for our return. You are experiencing lifes events at holiday time. Not fun, discouraging yes, but you will find a way through this. It is more tolerable with the Lords help. Lean on Him and read his comforting words. We don't always understand nor do we need to in this lifetime. He is our strength and shield. Bad things happen to good people because we live in a corrupt world. The great thing is this: He has overcome the world. Believe in him and trust him. Forget this Karma and Wicca crap. It will only confuse you. Read and believe this with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declare the Lord, are to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. God bless you.
How do you look at these "ups and downs"?? Emphasizing the downs more than the ups could lead one to believe that there just might be something wrong inside. As for the friend who created the "Ann's black cloud of doom" I'm sure it was done sheerly as a comic gesture, however let's look at the flip side. Hearing such a phrase repititively could again lead to the belief that you are inferior. Trust me on this, I heard many such similar phrases as a child and on to my teen years. Trying to be as diplomatic as possible here, but even words spoken with a humorous voice, can inadvertantly create inner doubts about oneself and your purpose in life. Perhaps you might ask your friends to reword these types of phrases in a more positive vein. I'll bet that makes a difference. :TU: It appears that good things do happen to you, as evidenced above. The burly carpet kid was ready and willing to assist you, and that made you happy. What was your state of mind just before your little pratfall?? Were you concentrating on the task at hand, or was your mind elsewhere?? As has been previously posted, there are paths available to you, the hard part is choosing the most appropriate one. Only you and you alone can make the best choice for yourself. I've often heard the phrase "Take back your power" meaning you make your own decisions about what direction you wish your life to take. We're all pulling for you, and Dee also, nobody should feel inadequate about themselves. Start from within, when you wake up each morning, say today is going to be a great day. :bglasses: Lighting candle one more time.
I typed up a whole post and then decided not to post it! Below are some things others have posted; I'm going to suggest a book to read that has helped me a lot lately. The quotes above made me think that this book may help. Your mileage may vary! :grin: This book isn't intended to take away from the Bible and in fact as I read it I relate things to the Bible. Also, the title of the book "Think and Grow Rich" may cause you to think that it's all about making money, but actually it's much deeper than that. It just so happens that the same principles that can make you rich (as a person) can also make you rich (as in money!). The book was originally written in 1937, and has some good, solid info. The ISBN number is 1585424331
Well, let me recommend another book while I'm at it! :grin: This one comes with a disclaimer, as the author wanders out into left field sometimes (actually into the parking lot on occasion!!), and I sometimes got the impression that he read the other book to get most of his ideas. The most important thing I got from this book is that as you were growing up things happened to you to cause you to be the way you are (well duh!). BUT, you need to identify the negative things and change them into positive things. This book suggests repeating things to yourself and going to his $2500 seminars. I still think it's a good read if you weed out the wacky stuff, especially if you also read the other one. In fact I'd say buy them both and read this one first to set the tone for the other one. "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got" AeroSmith (believe it or not!) The name of the book is "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" ISBN number 0060763280
Annie, I just read a good book by Billy Graham thats like 25 years old. I bought it at our church library clearence. It deals with these problems. I'd like to send it to you. If you want it, PM me your address. Also, remember the Lords prayer. NOT necessarily as a recital, but as instructions on how to pray. Pray like Jesus instructed. Its all in there. Honor God and his holy name, ask forgiveness of sin, forgive others, etc, etc. Its an instruction on how to pray by Jesus himself. As for why we get hammered. Well, I could go on and on. Tested by Satan? Yup. To build our faith? Yup. So we do not love this Earth and keep our focus on eternity? Yup. Because we fail to ask forgiveness? Yup. Because we fail to praise when times are good? Yup. Once again, I could go on and on. God loves you, me, and everyone. He wants us to come to him of our free will and He will allow miserable junk to happen so we come to him. Why? Cause He wants to gives us eternity with him forever and ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhoo, lotsa prayers for you and Dee. LMK if you want that book. :TU:
I tend to be very long winded when I start talking about my faith, and how it has completely changed me from the old me to the new me. I'll try to be brief. A lot of bad things happened to me when I was a kid, the worst being that my dad died suddenly when I was 11. Without getting into great detail, from then until the Christmas eve when I was 27, let's just say I ignored the One who created me. He was patiently waiting for me to acknowledge that He has created all that is good on this earth. Prior to that day (Christmas Eve), I was much like you, Annie. I was asking a lot of questions. I went to church Christmas Eve as always, my one trip to church per year other than funerals and weddings. That night, seeing/hearing the story of Christ's birth all made sense to me. I suddenly knew why I was here, how I got here, and most importantly where I was going when I left here (earth). All I will say is I will be praying for you that the same eye-opening will happen for you. Keep asking questions. You WILL find the answers in God's word, The Bible. I have had total peace about all things that have come to my life since I surrendered to Him about 2 weeks after Christmas that year. Countless times I have told people the incredible peace I now have, and those who have said yes to God nod their heads, and those still searching think I'm a little bit off my rocker!!! I now work in a program with teenage wayward boys trying to explain to them that I've been there, done that, and there is a better way. I want to explain to all that I talk to that this is a short journey in comparison to what lays ahead. It actually hurts a bit when I see people searching for and not finding God. Often, they know there is a hole to fill, but they don't understand what it is, and that He creates that void in us to be filled by Him. Now, here I went rambling again! :laugh: Feel free to PM or post here with questions. I am no pastor, just a man who has been blessed in that I have found the Truth before it was too late. Carl
Just a short update, having read all the posts, but I'm at work so will make it brief. At least I'll try! There are lots of books to be read over the winter! I appreciate the suggestions and I do look and will read into these things. There's a lot of thinking to be done. Dee and I are having some pretty cathartic email :rant: to each other as we are apparently living parallel Bizzarro lives. It fascinating to learn that we have been through so many of the same things. I just want to let you all know that although we both could use all the positive thoughts and prayers, neither one of us is severely depressed or in a mood of hopelessness - we're just frustrated and venting. We both are still active and pursuing goals, working, etc. I don't want anyone to think that we are anywhere needing intervention(s) or the # for the suicide hotline!! (Being a bit light-hearted, don't want anyone to worry about that sort of thing. Didn't mean to speak for Dee, but just trying to clarify). The rest of the day went as follows: The carpet van was already stuck, and the builder was going to pull them out when they got ready to leave. So I decided it best to get out and plow again, as it was bad and getting worse. I wobbled out to my dually, promptly bent the nerf bar when getting in, drove out to the barn. Got the Mule out and started plowing. Nearly finished when the builder decided to pull the van out with his 4x4 Chevy. He got it out and then got his truck stuck off the driveway. I had to pull him out with the Mule (man that is a handy little machine!!) Three men and me - and it seems that it's just easiest to do it myself! They got done with the carpet at 8:30. I stunned and amazed the burly tattooed boy because I could BS about trucks, motorcycles, race cars, AND bowhunting. I get a kick outta that every time it happens! By 9, they had some of my furniture moved back, but they had wrecked my phone line connection in the living room. Guess I have another weekend project. Anyway, I was laughing and very sore by the end of the night. All I need is my truck, my dog, and that handy Mule (or the Kubota) and there's really no need for a man. HA! Take that silly boyfriend! :moonu:
Annie can speak for me any day!!! :TU: It sure looks like we have a lot in common. Might not be all good stuff, but we can relate to each other! :TU: We are just 2 Buick girls with way too many things going on that we are not enjoying. Just looking for the friendship and support that the V8 Board provides to keep us up during the hard times!!! :TU: I have been diagnosed with Charlie Brown syndrome. Yep, has anyone heard of that before? :eek2: I think Annie might have a touch of it too! :laugh: In a positive light, when you get to the end of your rope, make a noose and either hang on or hang yourself. There's 2 options there, might as well hang on for a while. The other option sounds like it might hurt! ou: :laugh: :laugh: Sometimes the "big man upstairs" stop carrying us and puts us down to walk on our own sometimes, so we can build strength and learn about ourselves. We thank Him, we curse Him, etc., but at least we talk to Him. I can speak for myself that He is not out of my life, I'm just hurt that He is not carrying like I want to be carried right now. It's just hard to be alone around the holidays. It hurts, it's lonely, etc. There is one positive thing I can see about me being alone during this holiday season, is that I have found a very good long distance friend in Annie. We have so much in common other than just the Charlie Brown syndrome. Being able to talk to a woman about cars, racing, motorocycles, hunting, etc. that normally I can only talk to men about is fun. Men tend to look at me funny when I tell them I miss going hunting and fishing or that I'm upset about the car situation, etc. Now if Annie and I can find men that we can BS about this kind of stuff and have great long term relationships with, that would be cool! So thanks everyone for supporting your lonely hearts club for women. We'll be fine. Some things just kind of suck at the moment. uzzled: :laugh:
One thing that I have learned over the years is that if I look back at all the bad things that happened to me would not have happened if I had taken the time to listen to God. We get so rapped up in out lifes that we don't take the time to listen.
Annie, Things happen in life good and bad. Don't think it is anything you are doing or not doing. Keep in mind that God is in control seek him out and most of all don't let it get you down. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% our attitude toward it. Keep you chin up. It will get better, then it will get bad and then better again. It's the ebb and flow of life. The main thing we have to do is survive it all. It's all temporary and guarenteed to change.
[Emphasis added to the part that reminded me of this.] Today, one of my roommates, Kerry, stated that she wanted to heat up some left-over au gratin potatos from out Christmas dinner. Crystal, another of my roommates, was already looking for something in the refrigerator for herself and took it upon herself to find the au gratin potatos by removing other items one at a time stating that's not it or this isn't it when all the time they were right in front of her. Bob, Kerry's significant other and my other roommate (Confused yet? LOL) said to her, "Stop seeing what you don't want and look for what you do want and you will see it." I've read it here and I've seen it so many times in my life and others, we only see what we don't want and are so focused on it that we don't see what we do want and it's right in front of us the whole time. Try doing this. Instead of "seeing" the bad things that are happening to you sit down with a piece of paper and pen and write down all the good things that have happened to you or come into your life. Yes it takes some thought and effort but that is the idea. You have to "conciously" endeavor to find those good things but it takes your focus off the bad things. A double-purpose "assignment," if you will. Now once you have the list, the purpose for it is the next time it seems like everthing is going wrong, get out the list, but don't look at it. Make a new one. Then compare the two lists and see how many things you might have forgotten or over-looked on the first one and look for the good things on your second list that have happened since the first list. Again, gets you re-focused. The other purpose for the lists is that you have something "tangible" to refer to other than your memory. Memory gets clouded when we get discouraged and "defaults" to the negative/bad side of life. The list gets our focus back on the positive/good side of life and gives you an "inventory" to "account" for when thanking God for all the good He's given and done in out lives. Give it a whirl and tell us how it goes. Promise you it works.
Annie, I hope the Holidays were kind to you. No advice or preaching to you, just my experience: I hit what I considered "rock bottom" a few years back. Before then, things were never bad enough for me to beg and plead for relief. I finally reached the end of my rope and said "God, I just can't do it. Help me." Essentially, I had used all my other options (everything I could think of) and finally used Him as a last resort. Over the next 4 months, many special things happened to me that I call miracles. And I was finally led to follow His Son (all the while never telling anyone...no one ever knew to even be able to coerce me to follow Christ; I later found out that many people were praying for me and it brought them to tears of joy knowing that their prayers were answered). True desperation led me to Him. I and others will pray that His will be done in you Annie, before you reach any breaking point. But if you do reach that point (desperation) just remember my post and ask for His help. It can't hurt if it's your last resort...
