Lost my Father last night.

Discussion in 'Help From Above' started by Dale, Mar 1, 2003.

  1. Dale

    Dale Sweepspear

    Russell Bjorklund, 83 years of age.

    He had heart trouble for over thirty years but that wasn't what brought him down.
    A year ago he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of bladder cancer and underwent major surgery in May to remove the tumor and a kidney,
    The doctors were surprised he bounced back in such good shape from that proceedure.
    Everything was going along well until December, when he started experiencing pain again.
    A cat scan showed the cancer returning and he began chemo treatments.
    During the past month I took him up to the hospital several times to have a catheter inserted into his bladder just so he could releive himself and at this time my sister who lives in Illinois came up to help my mother get him to and from doctor appointments.
    Well, a week ago at 3 AM my sister called me and told me that he was in so much pain that he requested an ambulance to get him up to the hospital.
    After he was up there he began having chest pains and was moved to ICU, and after a couple of days the doctor met with us and said that a decision had to be made regarding resusitation.
    My sister and I had already talked about this and agreed that it was time to let nature take it's course and we were able to bring our mother to the realization that it was the best thing we could do for him.
    After all, who's best interests are being served by keeping him going? His? or our own?
    They then moved him out of ICU and only gave him Morphine to keep him comfortable.
    Then on Monday he had a stroke which effected his speech. I am grateful I was able to talk to him about a few things beforehand. I could see he was so frustrated not being able to easily communicate with us, this is a guy who always got in the last word.
    Yesterday after work, I went up to see him.
    He seemed to have had a really good day and after an hour or so, I said to him"I gotta go I'll see you later"
    I wasn't home more than 45 minutes, when my sister called from the hospital and said "GET UP HERE!" and hung up.
    So, for the last hour of his life he was surrounded by his family comforting him and reassuring him that he didn't have to fight anymore. At 8:13 he was at peace.
    I didn't mean to be long winded with this post, but it is obviously good for me in dealing with this to type it out and let my on-line buddy's know.
    He was the one that instilled my love of old cars in me and in a week or so, when I get back I'll post some pictures of the cars he restored doing all the work himself other than the chrome and upholstery.
    Thanks everyone!
    And thank you Dad!

    :TU:
     
  2. Jim Weise

    Jim Weise EFI/DIS 482

    Dale,

    You have my sympathies and best wishes for you and your family. The do not resuscitate decision is a tough one, and one I hope I will never have to make.


    JW
     
  3. Skwee-G

    Skwee-G Semper Ubi Sub Ubi

    I'm so sorry...

    Your friends here will be thinking of you and your family. Sharing lightens burdened hearts.
     
  4. RACEBUICKS

    RACEBUICKS Guest

    Hopefully he is with God now. He will have no more pain and he will have a new body.

    Psalm 73
    21 When my heart was grieved
    and my spirit embittered,
    22 I was senseless and ignorant;
    I was a brute beast before you.

    23 Yet I am always with you;
    you hold me by my right hand.
    24 You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will take me into glory.
    25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
    26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.

    27 Those who are far from you will perish;
    you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
    28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
    I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
    I will tell of all your deeds.
     
  5. GSXMEN

    GSXMEN Got Jesus?

    You can count on my prayers for you and your family!:)

    There isn't much that can be said here, that will be of much comfort - but at least know, that we are all here for you in your time of need!:TU:

    Thankfully, your family was able to be around him at the end! That has to be of some comfort, I hope. At least you had the opportunity to say your good byes, as opposed to losing him suddenly.

    I hope and pray that the Lord would give you and your family Comfort and His Blessings, in getting you all thru this difficult time!!
     
  6. Dale,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It is a very difficult decision whether to resusitate or not. I've seen both sides of that situation, and you and your family made the right decision, in my opinion. I lost my mother 20 years ago this May, and my wife lost her mother just a couple months ago to cancer. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

    David G.
     
  7. buicklawyer

    buicklawyer Well-Known Member

    Had to make the same decision in 91. Still have his 66 Cutlass conv never restored. Worked on it today. Installed a power brake booster. My way of still feeling his presence daily. My prayers are with you. John
     
  8. bignastyGS

    bignastyGS Maggot pilot

    Dale,
    I can totally understand your grief.It will soon be a year since my dad passed away.I can't tell you how hurt I am and how much I miss him. He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer the November before ,and his DR. suggested that I spend as much time as I could because the cancer was a fast spreading type.I was totally stunned.I went to his house everyday for weeks and sat and watched him struggle to eat his last X-mas supper with my family.This man taught me everything that I know about working on cars and getting me interested in Buicks.We had a garage and I spent countless hours working on cars with him more out of enjoyment than anything.He was the first to criticize my cars but snuck behind my back and pounded the tar out of it.He always thought I never knew.:laugh:
    Since his passing, I have inherited all his guns and my biggest treasure....HIS TOOLS. Every day that I work with his tools I keep thinking that I hear him talking to me helping get the needed things done.He wasn't the most perfect man, but he was my father and I love him for all he gave to me and all he taught me.I can only hope that you feel the same way toward you father as I did.You have me and my families deepest sympathy and we will say a prayer for you and your family.
    PAT HARMON
     
  9. Da Torquester.

    Da Torquester. Platinum Level Contributor

    Dale, hang in there man! You have my condolences. I'll say a prayer for ya. John B.
     
  10. coolness

    coolness Active Member

    Dale,

    Sorry to hear about your Dad. My prayers are with you and your family that the Lord will bring you comfort in the days ahead. God Bless.

    Dennis
     
  11. Ken Mild

    Ken Mild King of 18 Year Resto's

    Dale,

    I'm truly sorry to hear of your family's loss. You know, there is something to be said in staying by your loved ones side in their final hours. It's not easy to do for some people. But I have a feeling that for the patient, it's the most wonderful thing that can happen to have all your loved ones nearby in your minutes of "crossing over". Life is strange. I try to figure out "why" "what" "how" constantly, like, what is our purpose here and how do we all fit into the overall "plan"? Then you deal with new births and final goodbyes. It's all so confusing sometimes as to how to handle the grief with the joy. It balances out I suppose, but sometimes it's so extreme, such as a passing. I truly believe your dad is in a better place, and that he is once again able to have "the last word" as you described he always had to have.

    Over the years, the joy he brought to you will FAR outweigh the grief you are suffering now.

    My dad passed on in 1996 of cancer. 13 days in the hospital and it was over. The final night my wife and I drove up to NY State from NJ to pick up my Mom and drive down to Middletown to visit him. We left to drive my mom home, then on our way back to NJ we had to pass the hospital exit again. At the very last second I pulled the exit and my wife asked me what I'm doing. I said, "I gotta see him again". We stayed for a while and I just stared at his face as he lay sleeping, struggling for air and laboring with every breath. SO many things go through your mind at this time as you know. All the lessons learned, fishing trips, holding a wrench for him as a kid, etc. How difficult it is to put these thoughts into words, you simply can't. Finally, I kissed his warm forehead and left. As I got into the truck to leave, I looked out at the sky, full of stars, and with an overwhelming feeling of sorrow, pride and finality said, "goodbye dad", and burst out in tears. A half hour later I arrived home to a ringing phone. It was the hospital. My dad had passed away. I was the happiest man on the face of the earth because I had that final goodbye with my dad. I truly believe till this day he was waiting for me to come back and be with him for a few more moments.

    I hope you are able to get passed the sorrow Dale, and enjoy the man that he was for your whole life and can pass on the lessons to your children that he taught to you. That's the best gift you could ever give him. :TU:

    Good luck "buddy".
     
  12. 73-462GS

    73-462GS GS Mike

    Dale, sorry to hear of your loss. Wish you all the best. Mike D.
     
  13. 68 LeSabre 4dr

    68 LeSabre 4dr Well-Known Member

    Dale , sorry to hear about you loss of your father . It is something we all hope will never happen. My father , who was my best friend , past away in 1984, while i was on the road as a mover in california. I will never forget that loss, but also i will never forget the time we had together. Many are not that lucky . My 68 lesabre i dug high and low for is a twin to my dads ! Keep the fire burning !! We'll pray for you and yours!:TU: :TU:
     
  14. Marco

    Marco Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your dad. My condolences and prayers go to you and your family.
     
  15. dave64

    dave64 Well-Known Member

    Dale,

    Deepest sympathies from my family to yours. I lost my father 2 years ago and my father in law last year. You will always have your memories of the good times and know everyone on this board will help you in any way they can. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
     

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