To the Father-less

Discussion in 'Help From Above' started by Donuts & Peelouts, Jun 16, 2018.

  1. Donuts & Peelouts

    Donuts & Peelouts Life's 2 Short. Live like it.

    Trust me I know how bad this whole father day holiday can be. Watching and hearing about those with fathers, and you not having one. To those whos Dads have died, been abandoned by, or never known of know we do have a dad in heaven. Jesus son of God who always looks out for us father less, who will never leave us and always protect us and who is happy and proud of us to be his children. Always talk to your heavenly father and let him know how you are doing. For he missing you and loves you more than any one.
    bhambulldog, 2001ws6, MRP and 12 others like this.
  2. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    Very nice Sir.
    sbrmd and Donuts & Peelouts like this.
  3. Golden Oldie 65

    Golden Oldie 65 Well-Known Member

    I lost my dad to a stroke 32 years ago. I'm not traumatized by it because I'm a realist and I know it just the evolution of life, but I loved my dad and very few days go by that I don't wish he were still here. It would even be nice just to spend a day or a week with him if it were possible because I know there are still many things he could still teach me. As for our own kids, we're lucky. They're not perfect and there have certainly been days when we wish we were childless :D Still, my daughter came and took me to lunch this week on her day off and my son (he's in CA) sent me a very nice Father's Day card and he wrote on it that he hopes that he can turn out to be half the man that I am. Things like that are what are priceless, but I wrote him back and told him that what he might find interesting is that I've spent most of my life hoping to be half the man my dad was and that to this day I am still trying to make him proud of me. Happy Father's Day to my own father, God rest his soul.
  4. bhambulldog

    bhambulldog 1955 76-RoadmasterRiviera

    Thanks Ronnie.
    Donuts & Peelouts likes this.
  5. faster

    faster Well-Known Member

    My dad is 93 this last May. He is just a wisper of the man he was, but still has his faculties so we get to still have time together watching a ball game on TV. The most generous man I've ever met.

    Smokey15, 2001ws6, GKMoz and 2 others like this.
  6. TrunkMonkey

    TrunkMonkey Well-Known Member

    Yeah. It is a very odd place to be.

    On the one hand, I never knew my father, but after seeing my children and grandchildren, I "see" my father, because there are some "genetic" things that simply defy any other explanation.

    So, after many years, I am coming to a place where it is oddly "getting to know my father" and even missing him more than ever.

    And I lost my uncle (Leonard) in 1984, at 54 years old. And having lived longer than them is a "peculiar" mind puzzle in it's own way.

    But, I am very happy for those who have father/son/daughter relationships, and not a bit of "jealousy", but a very profound appreciation for what those people have.

    And for those who have fathers, and those fathers with children. Call them, tell them about the tings you remember of each other.

    Do it for those of us who cannot. And thanks, Ronnie for your thoughtfulness. :)

    60 years. It's a long time, and a short time...
  7. Donuts & Peelouts

    Donuts & Peelouts Life's 2 Short. Live like it.

    My father abondened my family when I was 14 , i remember the day he left my mom and my lil bro he told me "im not coming back, and you will underatand this when your older" I turned to others to fill that hole, I turned to the streets to make money for my family. No one could fill that hole, no money not nothinh.
    All the older guys i hung with let me down one way or abothet. I been shot at for being with these knuckleheads. Robbed and much more..
    , it took me years to understand that only God could fill that hole and come to the understanding of my original post.

    I am 32 now and since I was 14 to the age of 28 I would seek my father out, because he lived close to me but he would avoid me and ignore my calls. I had a hate in my heart that spilled over to all aspects of my life. I though all people were bad, I trusted no one and had killed that little voice in my head that stops people from doing bad.

    That old me is dead now, I look back and I am glad I broke the chain of my father. And my fathers father. I broke it just in time before I have my son, and I never could understand or comprehend what my father told me when he left, I don't get how a man could leave his family and never look back, its such a coward thing to do.
    My new dad is Jesus and he will never abandon me and has my back. Up and onward for me and for you too. You who haven't had a dad you got one upstairs looking down on you and looking after your every move.
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2018
    2001ws6, johnriv67, GKMoz and 6 others like this.
  8. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    I've never met my birth dad or mother. I was adopted, as an infant, from a family of 17. 5 of my siblings were also adopted out. We all went to families where my birth mother could keep track of us. (Birth dad died) I knew I was adopted, but never knew of siblings until after my Mom, who raised me, passed. Upon finding each other, I had no expectations of any relationships. They had existed for a long time without me. Turns out they found the rest of those adopted out and were searching for me. I now have a great relationship with them. I just wish my Mom, or Dad had told me of them. I guess they had their reasons. I very much love and appreciate my Mom and Dad, who raised me. I was quite lonely as an only child though and always felt 'something was missing'. Now I understand. Only my Dad, who raised me, and God ever really had my back.
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2019
  9. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    Ronnie, it was a poor choice and your father's loss to have abandoned you and your Brother. I wonder what his "reasons" were and why he would avoid you so as to never explain. You've turned out to be a very good man and I'm glad to be sharing with you here. God did a wonderful job guiding your life to where you are today. I hope your Brother did as well.
  10. Donuts & Peelouts

    Donuts & Peelouts Life's 2 Short. Live like it.

    Thank you Sir, my brother did really well. He gives me father day presents and tells me I'm like his Dad. He is 25 and working on his master's while teaching middle school. I'm proud of him. And glad to have you as a friend from a far. It would be cool to meet you one day.
    Smokey15 likes this.
  11. Smokey15

    Smokey15 So old that I use AARP bolts.

    Wow! I'd like to meet you and your Brother as well, Ronnie.
    Donuts & Peelouts likes this.
  12. faster

    faster Well-Known Member

    Ronnie my heart aches for what you had to go through, I'm so sorry. As a Chaplain in the State of Florida Juvenile detention system I see that scenario play out a dozen times a week. Fathers who abandone their children are too commonplace in America, I don't understand how anyone can leave their children behind. We have church on Monday nights in the jail and anywhere from 6 to 30 kids will show up. As we are leaving some will ask if I will come visit during the week. Some of these kids have been in jail for months up to a year with not one relative coming to visit ever. It's not possible to visit them all. When I sign their visitation log you can see no one else has ever come. It is hard to get them to comprehend a loving God when they have never been able to trust anything or anyone. When no one has taken care of them; then add in guards who tell them we're phonies and there is no God. The problem is there are just not enough "Christians" willing to take a couple hours out of their week to go do visitation to these youth. Dozens of churches locally with thousands of attendees and I might see six people do visitation. Kinda hard to show them a God who loves them.

    Ronnie I place Luke 10:19 around you and your family. May God give you wisdom, knowledge and understanding.

  13. Donuts & Peelouts

    Donuts & Peelouts Life's 2 Short. Live like it.

  14. 67Skybird

    67Skybird Josh - Minnesota

    Thank you. Mine left before I was born, but I was fortunate enough to have a grandfather that taught me everything I know. Wrenched on cars before I could touch the pedals, learned to shoot, and took me camping. Thankfully he is still here at 85.
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  15. Donuts & Peelouts

    Donuts & Peelouts Life's 2 Short. Live like it.

    Yeah my grandpa helped mold me too. God bless the men who stepped in when they saw a need too.
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  16. faster

    faster Well-Known Member

    I love my dad and he is still here at 94 but his era came from a group of men who did not spend time with their kids. They worked 10-12 hours a day 6 days a week then hung out with the boys after work 3-5 nights a week. He provided food, clothes, shelter and made sure I went to school. I started working at 14, paid for my vehicles and college. My parents never came to any of my little league games, track or swim meets and I had to find my own way home from any function I went to. But I had an uncle Louie who took me fishing, to the museum, county fair and ballgames. He never married or had any kids but was the guy you called when you needed anything. He took care of anyone's kids at a moments notice. He was a cranky coot but loved his nieces and nephews. He loved them all, protected them and took care of any kid that needed him. He's also 94 and I just made a trip up north just to see him, spent a week and took him to his favorite restaurants. We had a blast.

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  17. Donuts & Peelouts

    Donuts & Peelouts Life's 2 Short. Live like it.

  18. telriv

    telriv Founders Club Member

    Yeah, I have a similar story BUT opposite. ALL I WANTED was a relationship with my 1st. born son & daughter. From the time they were 4 & 5 it was beat into their heads I was NO GOOD & as time went on it was AGAIN beat into their heads I abandoned them which isn't true by any stretch of the word.
    I'll NEVER FORGET when there was a court appointed psychiatrist we had a one on one time with. I will NEVER FORGET his name which was Paul Magotling. 40 + years ago when they were 8 & 9. When he & I were sitting down talking he told me to get myself prepared for what was coming. I'll ALSO NEVER FORGET what they both said at each separate sit-down as each said they DIDN'T want me as their Father.
    It was the MOST DEVASTATING things I've EVER heard.
    Now that my son & daughter are 49 & 48 respectively you would think they would come to more understand as their Mother did the exact same to her 2nd. husband. After the 2nd. was divorced from her he came to apologize to me that he let it happen. I told Jerry it wasn't his fault as he really had NO CONTROL over the matter. When my 2 son's from my 2nd.marriage were in high school where my 1st. son sometimes worked, when he saw my boys he turned & went the other way. One time someone I knew worked with my son in the same town I worked & lived in & asked me about things. I did a short version & he thought it was a terrible thing. I told him DO NOT MENTION this as it will come back at you heavily.
    Well he did & he was totally unprepared for what was about to happen. That was MANY years ago & even though they worked together they have NEVER spoken since & they both do their best to stay away from each other even today.
    It's a SAD DAY that a mother can be so controlling & brain washed children's heads, BUT if it starts early enough young minds CAN'T distinguish what's right & what's wrong & even as time goes by being beaten into their heads at a young age that's ALL they've come to believe.
    A day doesn't go by that I don't think of them. How they are doing??? etc. etc. etc. My son goes to the same diner I go to in the morning for breakfast. IF he sees my car he goes on by & stops when he doesn't see my car.
    IF he's there I will go in & I'm just ignored as if I didn't exist & I can see out the corner of my eye the looks that he will cast my way can't be believed. Even the girls behind the counter & the owner can't believe what they are seeing.
    They don't realize what they, I, there Grandmother, my grand children, my great grand children & my mother, their grand mother, great grand mother & great/great grand mother have been cheated out of.
    I've finally come to the realization that unless they somehow change their ways of thinking it WILL NEVER happen.
    That's ALL I've got to say on this Fathers Day.
  19. buick64203

    buick64203 Just plum crazy Staff Member

    I lost my dad when I was 8. There isn't a day that goes by that I dont think about him. Still hurts after 45 years. Fathers day is rough for me. And it hurts that I never became one myself.
    Lucy Fair and Mike B in SC like this.
  20. Donuts & Peelouts

    Donuts & Peelouts Life's 2 Short. Live like it.

    Sucks Tom & Jason, fathers day can be rough and used to kill me little by little, but big man upstairs smiles for you and has your back. Remember only strong people can deal with the cards we've been delt. Keep ya heads up and keep a spring in your step, your lil bro Ronnie.
    Smokey15 likes this.

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