:grin::grin: :grin: We have all heard about this night.................right? T'was the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen, I was cooking, and baking, and moanin' and bitchin. I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest. This rooms a disaster, just look at this mess. Tomorrow, I've got thirty people to feed. They expect all the trimmings, who cares what I need? My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs. The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs. There's a knock at the door, and the telephone's ringing. Frosting drips on the counter, as the microwave's dinging. Two pies in the oven, deserts almost done. My cookbook is soiled, with butter and crumbs. I've had all I can stand, I can't take no more. Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor. He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady. Then he grins as he chuckles, "The egg nog is ready" He looks around with total regret, says "What's taking so long aren't you through in here yet? As quick as a flash I reach for a knife, He loses an ear lobe, I wanted his life. He flees from the room in terror, and pain, and screams "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE" Now what was I doing, and what is that smell? Oh darn it's the pies, They are burnt all to hell. I hate to admit when I make a mistake, but I put them on broil instead of bake. What else can go wrong, is there still more ahead? If this is good living, I'd rather be dead. Lord don't get me wrong, I love holidays. It just leaves me exhausted, all shakey and dazed. But I promise you one thing, if I live til next year. You won't find me pulling my hair out in here. I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter, and if that dosen't work, I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED. I wish everyone a joyfull holiday, and may 2004 bring all of you a new personal best. Ann & Harold Rolls. :TU: :TU: :TU:
