Post your best bullcrap story you've ever heard here...

adding chrome valvecovers added 10 hp but caused massive oil leaks because they overtightened them

 

My 76 Limited wont kick down from 2 to 1 above 20 miles/hr. Its frustrating, but I can live with it for the time being. I ring up an auto tranny shop to find out what can be done about it. I asked if I can have the kickdown adjusted. His reply "mate, the Turbo-400 does not have a kickdown. You will have to bring it in, and we will have to have a look at it and see what is wrong." I asked how long and how much and it was a few hours and a few hundred dollars. When I asked how it down shifts withut a kickdown, and he said "mate, you are going to have to bring it in. I have never worked on a Buick before, so we coul be a while"

Next shop, yup, electronic kickdown, check this, this, this and this. Look for this too. If no luck, bring it in. Price and time? Half an hour, and $50. Followed by " What the hell is a Buick Electra??" uzzled:

 

The problem is thats 1/8 th mile, Put them on the 1/4 and see what they really do. Best one I've heard was an old classmate of mine how his 78 scout 2 would turn 10's in the 1/4.

 

Dont even get me going. I got a million of these stories.
.
A kid in my town... one who gets every thing handed to him ... got a 66 mustang for graduation with a 302 2 bbl. he tried to tell me that before he bought it it was strictly a drag car and it ran 11s in the 1/4. he put a 4 bbl holley carb and intake on and he said now it should be making about 350 hp and mid 9s.

Same kid different story:

Kid says hey did you hear we bought a camaor and i ssaid no. so he proceeds to tell me about their new "drag car". he didnt know what engine it had or even if it was an auto or a manual. but he said that they were going to run street radials on it since slicks dont get very good traction. ou:

now the kids dad gets in on the action

hes a nice enough guy but you can tell he thinks hes a little bit better than every one else. well not a t body work. he painted their stock 67 fairlane 500 289 that will smoke a 383 stroker in a 69 chevelle. Any way, he decided to give it a one stage paint job like on a tractor (i believe it was called international red) since he wasnt good at shooting clear. after the paint dried there were runs to beat the band so he decided to try and buff them out with what? a wire wheel on a grinder with a rag over it. :eek2: ou: not only did it not take the runs out one it got up to speed the rag flew off and you can only imagine the havok it reaked on the quarter panel. Never the less it is still so BA it was put in his very own car show and took 2nd i believe after the mustang.

 

i get so pissed off when people try to bs me like that. i don't know why, but it just kills me when people tell me how much horsepower they have even though they've never raced or dyno'd a car. very amusing to read about, but when people tell me about their 100hp exhaust system at work or at school, i just want to punch them in the face.:spank:

 

One thing that drives me crazy is the guy with the 2 wheel drive truck, who has a complex against 4 wheel drive trucks. He always goes on and on about how 4x4s are a waste, and his "2 wheel drive truck has been places a 4x4 won't go."
That line sends shivers up my back. you'd have to be a complete idiot to think that, or even believe it for a second. That makes me wanna punch them in the face. I look right at them and say, no that really isn't true, at all, ever, your a moron for even saying that, in fact, everyone is dumber for having to hear that. Of course this mini-rant excludes the mud racers that are two wheel drive, however I always here this from guys with stockers. that drives me crazy!! I've heard this hundreds of times. God I hate it.

 

This is the best thread ever, we all need to vent. The one story I hate the most, and you have all heard it is the silly G-force tail. I remember the last time I heard it . It went something like this .......... .............. .......... ....... Hey wat you got in that olds GS? a wildcat 465 big block . No its actually a Bui (stopped short). I had a Dodge Demon that I ordered with the 440 Hemi. I use to own the streets with that baby. I would tape a fifty dollar bill to the dash and take someone for a ride and say, when I hit it you try to get the fifty. ( dramatic pause ) I still have the fifty dollar bill in a picture frame at house. My comment : I tried that with my GS, but the tape kept breaking.

 

i know a guy (sbc worshiper) who said buick engines are junk. then the dumbass went a step further and said that big blocks are junk. this is a guy who drag races on a limited basis. i would think he would be more rational than that. if i said stupid things like that, i would kick my own ass. he makes all sbc worshipers look uneducated.

 

Many of them are. Reminds me of back in the day when I was driving with my learners permit. A friend of mine, known as the village b.s.'r, his dad worked the line at the Chevy engine plant near where we lived. They had a Monte Carlo with a 350 in it.......he used to swear up and down his dad had the motor built up special at work and GM installed especially for him.........and it had 500+ horsepower!!! And the stories we'd hear about how it could blow away anything on the street. Funny thing though.......he was never allowed to open the hood to show it off to anybody.ou: :spank: :laugh:

 

Everybody has an opinion until you bust them in the mouth.:TU:

......and then F*ck the prom queen.

 

are you bragging?

 

UMMMMMM....prom queens....

 

The white meat is the best part!!!:Brow:

 

i asked a guy once, "why do you think small block chevies are so great? why do all of your friends say my buick engine is junk? give me some educated, rational, factual information to enlighten me."

he said, "well cause thats all i know how to work on."

ou: are you kiddin me???!!!!

oh, well gee, that totally explains why buicks suck so bad.
my advice is the next time you want to put my buick down, just cut yourself off and call yourself a horse's ass to save me the trouble.

a guy at work told me his buddy's monte would probably eat my regal up. i said, oh ok. well, whats he got?
he said its pretty much stock. its got over 600 hp.
i said, what the hell is stock? the engine paint? the valve covers?

 

People throw horsepower numbers around like anyone can run 600-700hp on the street no problem...Dont folks realize with that hp rating is usually makes you capable of putting cars in the high 10s???

 

Yeah, it's always, "my buddy's this" or "my cousin's that" or "my dad's friend's whatchacallit."
They are such losers that THEY don't have something of their own to back up their own horse5h!t!!!.

 

thats the smartest thing i ever heard anybody say about anything :laugh:

(quote from family guy)

you're right man. everybody knows a guy that has something to beat you.....

what makes the story even worse is that its an 80's monte carlo. if chevy ever produced 600+hp 305's for monte carlos in the 80's or any other time in history, then i'm the next john holmes.

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

A buddy of muine, total BS'er, has a pretty sweet 92 Mustang. Great paint job, all the bells and whistle from suspension, wheel, the works. He can't keep an engine running to save his life. Keeps "losing oil pressure" and seizing the motor. Maybe if he CHECKED the oil every once in a while. ANYWAYS, I worked at a bodyshop, and we gave him a bone stock 302 out of a wagon, just to get him up and running. Not a week went by and it "lost oil pressure" and burned up. Blah blah blah. 2Weeks later, he rumbles up to the shop in the Stang and we come outside and ask how he got it running and what not. He tells us his grandfather bought him a crate motor from some big bad ass ford motorsports builder. I hopped up to go check out the "Big bad" motor. We pop the hood, and he starts rattling off how he threw a "quick paintjob" on it before he threw it in. My buddy and I look across the car at eachother and try our hardest not to laugh. It's the same 302 out of the wagon. There's all kinds of dirt under the paint, it's leaking like it's got 200,000 miles on it ( because it did!!) What a total jackass. One thing I hate is lying to impress people. I'm the first one to say, "I don't know how to do that" or "I'm not sure what I'm doing." Oh well, Everyone's gotta be somebody, even if it's only in their heads.

-Josh

 

one of the guys at work came up with this corker. Story goes, he was walking his dog along the beach, and a killer whale came out of the water and ate his dog. WTF?? ou: